I juz finished watching anime Blood+ episode 3 by now, and by the way though I don’t really like mystery stories, I think the anime is quite good rite…

Just 2 days ago I finished watching the whole series of 15 episodes Full Metal Panic Fumoffu, and now I regret watching them for too fast.. This anime was damn good!!! Quite funny (only a little bit less funny than School Rumble), and the storyline, though filled in with slapsticks, is quite romantic. I like weird ‘chemistry’ between Sagara Soosuke and Chidori Kaname, esp. the one shown in episode 14, where there’s the flirting competition stuff… And then the Bonta-kun is damn cute! ^ ^

If you guys out there haven’t watch this Fumoffu anime, you better check it out! In the official website is said that there is a total of 17 episodes, and 2 of them, regretfully, are withdrawn from mass production due to the fact that the story is connected with current criminal cases in Japan.. How I regret such a decision… If only both the prequel and sequel of this movie (which are mecha-genre, in comparison with this romantic-comedy-genre Fumoffu) are that good also… Huhh…

Anyway, talking abt romantic comedy, I might wanna refer to the movie “She’s The Man” I watched last weekend… Based on 12th Nite (which I’ve been studying in my Lit class), all the light humour in the movie had lightened me up, esp. during this pre-preliminary-exam “Era of Great Depression”. Check it out!

Dunno why, juz before the prelims itself, I dun reali feel like studying. Instead of focusing onto what I’m having rite now, I’m much more concerned abt my future: where I am going to continue my higher education. Is it in Singapore? Is it in America? Or is it in…..(though I dun want it at all)…….Jakarta?

Thinking of the first possibility, I’d be very happy to be able to continue my 2-yrs-scholarship term here. If only I could do well academically… With my current ability, it’s very unlikely for me to enter any JC, let alone the possibility of going on with scholarship. Frankly though, I’m actually desperate to enter this new ACS(IB) which is adjacent to the sec school building now. I ruled out any possibility of entering any other JCs, bcos you’ll need to move to a new hostel, which furthermore means that I have to adapt to a new environment and also later have to take all the troubles to move my belongings to tat new hostel.

Then, there is also another obstacle: money matters. Well, people outside there who have never been bonded by any scholarship might say how I have gotten this 100% paid scholarship thing and I dun need to pay a single cent and stuff…… What a hogwash… It’s simply half the truth, man… The other half is that though your school fees and hostel fees are fully paid by MoE, they never cover up the expenses for overseas trips such as OEP, LDP which may oblige you to dig deep to your pockets until S$1000 or more!! Then, in the ACS(IB) frens around me say that you’ll have to pay yourself for the IB subjects book fee which has the figure until four-digits…. Ugh, even thinking of it makes me sick!!! If only I’m well-off financially….

Until last week, I have got only 2 choices in mind: If I were given a chance to continue scholarship, I’d choose to enter IB. But if I couldn’t enter IB, then I’ll definitely take off to America, where I’m supposed to be… I tell you, at that time my heart has a tendency of 60% opting for American school, and the other 40% for ACS(IB). However, the probability figure tells another story. I have 95% chance of going to America and 5% of entering IB (This is due to a secret which I won’t reveal in this blog due to confidentiality matters).

Wahh, if only I can enter IB….. Realistically, I can’t.

Then, last Friday, I heard this so-called ‘voice’ of my guardian angel:

You don’t belong here, Toshi. Your future is not to be pursued in Singapore. You better go back to America.

I did not reply to that voice, and he also stopped talking to me. Really, I tell you, I dunno how to reply. I think again afterwards, and then come up with an answer: it maybe right after all. I think my future doesn’t really belong here. If I look back in my 1.5 yrs of stay in Singapore now, I’ve both suffered and learned lessons of life at the same time. Singapore has become the training ground that prepares me for maturity, for me to get out of the comforts of childhood (or childish?) cocoon, so that I can be a butterfly in my adult years… Honestly, and frankly, I actually disliked (I dun wanna use the word “hate”) Singapore for quite a number of times for the past 1.5 yrs. But the past 1 mth, seeing that my stay in Singapore might end in a short while, I have reflected back and realized that…

Hey, why should you dislike Singapore? Is it bcoz of all the agony you’ve gotten here? Haven’t most of those agonies actually forged you into a better person? Look at yourself now. Look at how different you are from the “you” 18 mths ago, when you left Jakarta for Singapore. You should have expressed gratitude for Singapore, Thomas.


I should’ve done so.

Thank you, Singapore.

You know what, I think I actually might have developed love for this country after all. Hahahaha…… Love-hate relationship, huh? No lar, I’ve lost all the feelings of enmity for Singapore. I think now I love this country after all. The greenery, the transport, the airport, the blend-in of Asian cultures, the cleanliness of air pollution, the church ministry life…. If only I were a Singapore national.

But I’m not.

And I dun think I should be one. Though I love this country, I dun think I want to become a PR, or even a national of Singapore… I feel that I belong to another society that welcomes me more: Indonesia. And my true love will always be for America and Japan

Still, Singapore is, I tell you, a wonderful country. Really. I dun fall into the traps of Singapore Tourism Board slogan, neither am I promoting Singapore to you ppl who are reading this blog. But somehow, though I dun feel really at home here, I’ve treated Singapore as my home for 18 mths till now… I dun actually know why now I feel this sudden change of feeling towards Singapore. I’ve told my frens Buana and Stanford abt my sudden change of heart towards Singapore, and they are left wondering why I have this feeling now.

Anyway, let me say it again…

Thank you, Singapore.

PS: There is actually another special reason why now I love Singapore, but I dun wanna mention it here ^_^. You guess by yourself, judging from my psychological condition (duuhh!!!!!!) lately…

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