Love ≠ Lust

Wow, you know what, yesterday I just heard a breaking news from my friend through Friendster that a previous classmate of mine in my old school in Bali had just got impregnated by her boyfren.

Wakakakkkakaakaka!!!!!!!! Upon reading the FS message, I just burst out laughing...


So mean... Am I that mean, laughing at her suffering? Not really, considering that I'm actually laughing at the possibility of that impregnate girl of even having a boyfren. The fact that she had got a boyfren itself simply surprised me. She is a total failure in everything, horrible in appearance, weak in academic subjects & sports, and she also have a very annoying attitude which everyone in my class that time used to hate. In fact, none of my schoolmates have ever befriended her, particularly bcoz of her bad attitudes toward other ppl... If she were the only girl left on earth, I'd rather turn into a gay and marry a man instead. It's such an amazing thing that she has a boyfriend who would ever make her pregnant.. Hahaha..... ^o^

Now let us discuss the topic in a more serious viewpoint, and jokes aside, pls.

That girl is actually the fourth person I'd known who has had a pre-marital sex. The remaining 2 cases are my seniors in my old school in Jkt. Now according to my observation, pre-marital sex happen more in Bali than in Jkt, probably attributed to the local govt's activeness in promoting sex education in schools and public. But this observation is not of my main concern.

In fact, sex education should not be of our main concern if we want to reduce the number of pre-marital sex sharply. Neither do pills, condom, etc. Why? Instead of concerning more on holding more sex education talks and seminars, shouldn't we actually concern more on the teaching of ethics? Really, regardless of whether one is religious or not, one should not base anything that is "good" or "bad" by referring to one's self. One should actually refer more on the holy books like the Bible, Quran, Veda, etc.

What I have seen now is the fact that the reduce in teaching of ethics attributed to the increasing secularism in today's society. Now this secularism is actually a good thing as it promotes freedom of expression and other liberal American lifestyle (sorry for being a bit biased here!). But the thing is that secularism automatically invokes pragmatism in each individuals who apply it, causing more and more ppl nowadays adapt practical solutions to all aspects of their life.

Thus, when the question of ethics is asked, ppl refer to themselves rather than God. God now has automatically become the "most forgotten Person of the decade". Since ppl ask their own selves of what is right or wrong, each induviduals hence may have different perceptives of what is morally acceptable and what is not.

Let's get back to the main topic, as I don't wanna dive too deep into the ethics philosophy.

I actually wanna discuss more on the meaning of love. For Christians and Muslims alike, it is a common teaching that LOVE ≠ LUST. However, teenagers nowadays simply ignore this message and get used to apply LUST in their LOVE relationships.

Now if you are a guy, applying LUST is not a bad thing after all. You get sexually satisfied, you can still use condom, and Whoops!! Even if you fail to protect the conceiving from happening, you can choose either to abort the baby or let the baby live.

Since Abortion=Murder, it's simply morally right to let the baby live, right?


You should not have sex with your girlfriend in the first place. Both of you are under 20, unmarried, not financially independent, and still in a need of education in the university.

As a guy myself, I'm not being a hypocrite or a Pastor wannabe here by advising other guys out there of how they should behave. I'm simply giving my own piece of mind of what I, a rational guy, think what love really means for me.

Love is pure. Love is divine. And love requires sacrifice.

Now if you as a guy risk having a baby by having sex with a girl, don't you see that it's actually the girl who has to sacrifice a lot for you?

The girl may think that she sacrifices herself for your LOVE. But the fact remains that she actually sacrifices herself for your LUST. Think of all the pains the girl have to bear if she gets pregnant: "carrying" a big stomach everywhere, restricted from freedom to avoid friend's mockery, gets embarrased when walking past neighbours. Worse still, whatever result you as the "father" choose, she will suffer much, much more than you anyway.

If you as an irresponsible "father" choose to abort the baby, you may not feel the guilt, but the girl as the one who has been carrying the foetus in her womb surely has a motherly instinct to feel guilty. In fact, all girls who abort their own babies do live with the guilt of the unborn baby, even after years past by. In extreme cases, the guilt may even lead to suicides.

On the other hand, if you as a "responsible father" (mind the apostrophes, pls!) choose to let the baby live, your girlfren still have to suffer more anyway. She may have to quit school, has to attend the baby for hours, milk the baby, while your responsibility is simply limited to providing both her and the baby money to live on.

In conclusion, for any guys out there who is reading this blog now, if you think that Love ≠ Lust, I ask you strongly to reconsider it. I'm not asking you to learn ethics, even if you're a free thinker. But the thing is; if you really love that girl you're in relationship with right now, can you ask yourself to restrain yourself from having sex before you're married? Sex is actually a expression of love purity, but it becomes so if you do it after you're legally married.

What do you think, then? The choice....... is yours.


Going to Expo twice on 2 consecutive days...

Today’s Sunday… The last 2 days have been spent w/o studying at all for the prelims. Particularly bcoz during those days, I went to the far-faraway Expo for 2 different reasons.

On Friday, I went to Bugis together with Julz, Steven, Dana, and Bagus to take our plane tickets (back to Jkt) in Muhibbah travel agent. My ticket figure is $221 while the others are around $377.Why? Mine is a 1-way ticket, while the others are 2-way.

When we reach Muhibbah, for a while, my mind was filled w/ doubt whether I really was going to take a 1-way ticket or not. At that time, the images of me continuing my education in Sgp, joining the IB orientation, seeing myself wearing IB ties, going to different classes together w/ IB girls, joining the Drama club, getting more active in church, geting to know many more female frenz here....

What an imagination, I think.

What an imagination.

Oh, what an imagination

Well, Toshi, there's no turning back if you pay the ticket now. You are going to America anyway, I said to myself.

I sighed.

The $230 held ready in hand to be paid was felt frozen like the chilling ice. If my frenz weren’t there, I would've shed tears when I finally handed in the money. I simply made done w/ sobbing quietly inside my heart. Being separated really is painful..

But Toshi get done with it, pls…


OK, OK… Realising that I pay a different amount of money, Dana asked me why I pay much less than the others.

I smiled, and answered that mine is a 1-way ticket.

He then asked, Why?

I pretended to think for a while, as if I was looking for a good answer, throwing my smile to Julian. He also smiled, having fully understood what my smile meant.

I explained to Dana that I’m going to continue my education in USA due to a secret reason I couldn’t reveal to anyone else right then.

Which part of USA? And what secret reason are you talking abt?, Steven joined the conversation and had his curiosity aroused.

I dunno which part of USA yet. And the secret reason is only held by my closest ppl and couldn’t be disclosed to a lot of ppl yet. But I promised them to reveal the secret on the day of our flight back to Jkt.

Anyway, bye bye to Singapore… I really don’t wanna leave this place, Man, but no choice la, as I have a better preference given..

After going to Muhibbah, we decided to proceed to ComEx in Singapore expo. All those IT fair thingy offered me alluring choices of electronic items to buy… But I decided to pass. I ain’t got enough money, Man, esp. after I just bought an HDD from a friend.

The MRT “journey” back and forth to Expo from Dover MRT is really damned far-faraway….. 1 hour each. So 2 hours in total. Dammit…. We had to stand some more…

On the next day, Saturday, I went back to Expo again to go to City Harvest Church with my juniors. Going only w/ my juniors gave me quite an uncomfortable feeling, esp. since I’m not close to them in the first place. Daniel was supposed to come too, but he wasn’t feeling well that time and decided to just pass and apologized to me for being unable to come w/ me. OK la… When I reach the place, I was surprised at how small the place is now, in comparison with the old one in Jurong West. Then from Pastor Kong’s sermon I found out that it is actually a temporary location for worship, as they’re preparing a new and much bigger building for worship. OK la…

Oh ya, the sermon yesterday was anyway very relevant to my current problems, which is abt debt... The sermons delivered in CHC are usually relevant to current life issues anyway...

If I hadn't gone to CHC that day, I would've asked for a larger debt from my frenz in order to afford buying a new MP3 player in Comex. Thank God, my plan to owe ppl more money was cancelled. In fact, Pastor Kong told us that we must cancel our debts as to live free from pain. You know, all those suggestions of using debit card instead of credit card and stuff....


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