Toshi's wrap up of Year 2009

I described last year as "bittersweet" and "unproductive".

For this year, I'd say that it is a Year of Change. It may not necessarily a change of who I am inside, but it does change some ways I think about things.

Right from the beginning of the year, I start to see my life as one ironic comedy.

Because what you think were the good stuff were actually one chain of mistakes commited one way or another by the people around you, including yourself.

And that the bad events that cause you miserable at first are actually there so that you can dig up what was actually pleasant underneath it all.

July 2009 was hard on me, especially with the change and moving and adaptation and all, but once you actually get over it, it is not as bad as it once looked.

November 2009 was the nastiest month ever, it was filled with a lot of incidents for me.

But in retrospect, if I were given a chance to go back in time, would I knowingly let those incidents happen?


Because as I've seen, if those incidents hadn't happened in the first place, I would not be in such a good shape as I am today.

They were meant to happen, so that my December would not be the worst month of the year.

And as someone once said, "Perhaps this is one form of mercy God is granting us".

Indeed they are.

Whatever softwares God has taken away from me, He has returned in some other updated versions.

Not necessarily an exact replica, but at least they are more virus resistant now...

~post'script Despite the many changes, one thing stays the same though. You're still the same person for me, and I don't exactly know why it has not changed yet. Even the years and the distance and other person(s) involved don't necessarily change the way I think about you. There is something about you that is so unique that I can't let go of you, and I wonder why... Is it kismet?

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