Ever wondered why…

The following text is originally lifted from the trivia section of The Jakarta Post dated Saturday, 1 December 2007.

~Compiled from various sources~

• If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
• Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but people don’t point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
• If it’s true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
• Do people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water know that spelling it backwards is Naïve?
• If four out of five people suffer from diarrhea does that mean the fifth one enjoys it?
• If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
• The Dark Ages was caused by the Y1K problem.
• Treat each day as your last; one day you will be right.
• Marriage is not a word. It’s a sentence.
• Is Marx’s tomb a communist plot?
• The best contraceptive for old people is nudity.
• Birthdays are good for you – the more you have the longer you live.
• If you think you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
• Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.
• A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
• You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
• If you can’t convince them, confuse them.
• When blondes have more fun, do they know it?
• Money isn’t everything but it sure keeps the kids in touch.
• I like cats too. Let’s exhange recipes.
• I was more nervous than a ceiling fan storeowner with a combover.
• If you think there is good in everybody then obviously you haven’t met everybody.
• If an ambulance is on its way to save someone, and it runs someone over, does it stop to help them?
• If a cat always lands on its feet, and buttered bread always lands butter side down, what would happen if you tied a buttered bread on top of a cat?
• Why does a dog go crazy when you blow on its face but when you take it on a car ride it sticks its head straight out the window?
• Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn’t zigzag?
• Las night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
• Whose cruel idea was it for the word “LISP” to have an “S” in it?
• I’ve been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.
• I wondered why the Frisbee was getting biggerm and then it hit me.
• Take everything in moderation. Including moderation.
• Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.
• Never go to bed angry, stay awake and plot your revenge.
• If #2 pencils are the most popular, are they still #2?
• A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered drawer.
• A journey of 1,000 begins with a cash advance.
• All I ask is a chance to prove money can’t make me happy.
• Originality is the art of concealing your sources.
• Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.
• Wear a watch and you’ll always know what time it is. Wear two watches and you’ll never be sure.
• How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you’re on.
• Teach a child to be polite and courteous, and when he grows up, he’ll never be able to edge his car onto a freeway.
• Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun.
• Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.
• If you’re riding ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it’s still there.
• I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with “Guess” on it. So I said “Implants?”
• I’m busier than a one-toothed man in a corn-on-the-cob eating contest.
• If you’re cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you see perfectly?
• He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.