A Very Romantic Poem

These are entries to a Washington Post competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line... but the least romantic second line.

Author unknown

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss

But I only slept with you, because I was pissed.

I thought that I could love no other

Until, that is, I met your brother.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet,

and so are you

But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,

the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;

This describes everything you are not

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes -

Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:

Marrying you screwed up my life

I see your face when I am dreaming.

That's why I always wake up screaming

My feelings for you no words can tell,

Except for maybe "go to hell"