Love ≠ Lust

Wow, you know what, yesterday I just heard a breaking news from my friend through Friendster that a previous classmate of mine in my old school in Bali had just got impregnated by her boyfren.

Wakakakkkakaakaka!!!!!!!! Upon reading the FS message, I just burst out laughing...


So mean... Am I that mean, laughing at her suffering? Not really, considering that I'm actually laughing at the possibility of that impregnate girl of even having a boyfren. The fact that she had got a boyfren itself simply surprised me. She is a total failure in everything, horrible in appearance, weak in academic subjects & sports, and she also have a very annoying attitude which everyone in my class that time used to hate. In fact, none of my schoolmates have ever befriended her, particularly bcoz of her bad attitudes toward other ppl... If she were the only girl left on earth, I'd rather turn into a gay and marry a man instead. It's such an amazing thing that she has a boyfriend who would ever make her pregnant.. Hahaha..... ^o^

Now let us discuss the topic in a more serious viewpoint, and jokes aside, pls.

That girl is actually the fourth person I'd known who has had a pre-marital sex. The remaining 2 cases are my seniors in my old school in Jkt. Now according to my observation, pre-marital sex happen more in Bali than in Jkt, probably attributed to the local govt's activeness in promoting sex education in schools and public. But this observation is not of my main concern.

In fact, sex education should not be of our main concern if we want to reduce the number of pre-marital sex sharply. Neither do pills, condom, etc. Why? Instead of concerning more on holding more sex education talks and seminars, shouldn't we actually concern more on the teaching of ethics? Really, regardless of whether one is religious or not, one should not base anything that is "good" or "bad" by referring to one's self. One should actually refer more on the holy books like the Bible, Quran, Veda, etc.

What I have seen now is the fact that the reduce in teaching of ethics attributed to the increasing secularism in today's society. Now this secularism is actually a good thing as it promotes freedom of expression and other liberal American lifestyle (sorry for being a bit biased here!). But the thing is that secularism automatically invokes pragmatism in each individuals who apply it, causing more and more ppl nowadays adapt practical solutions to all aspects of their life.

Thus, when the question of ethics is asked, ppl refer to themselves rather than God. God now has automatically become the "most forgotten Person of the decade". Since ppl ask their own selves of what is right or wrong, each induviduals hence may have different perceptives of what is morally acceptable and what is not.

Let's get back to the main topic, as I don't wanna dive too deep into the ethics philosophy.

I actually wanna discuss more on the meaning of love. For Christians and Muslims alike, it is a common teaching that LOVE ≠ LUST. However, teenagers nowadays simply ignore this message and get used to apply LUST in their LOVE relationships.

Now if you are a guy, applying LUST is not a bad thing after all. You get sexually satisfied, you can still use condom, and Whoops!! Even if you fail to protect the conceiving from happening, you can choose either to abort the baby or let the baby live.

Since Abortion=Murder, it's simply morally right to let the baby live, right?


You should not have sex with your girlfriend in the first place. Both of you are under 20, unmarried, not financially independent, and still in a need of education in the university.

As a guy myself, I'm not being a hypocrite or a Pastor wannabe here by advising other guys out there of how they should behave. I'm simply giving my own piece of mind of what I, a rational guy, think what love really means for me.

Love is pure. Love is divine. And love requires sacrifice.

Now if you as a guy risk having a baby by having sex with a girl, don't you see that it's actually the girl who has to sacrifice a lot for you?

The girl may think that she sacrifices herself for your LOVE. But the fact remains that she actually sacrifices herself for your LUST. Think of all the pains the girl have to bear if she gets pregnant: "carrying" a big stomach everywhere, restricted from freedom to avoid friend's mockery, gets embarrased when walking past neighbours. Worse still, whatever result you as the "father" choose, she will suffer much, much more than you anyway.

If you as an irresponsible "father" choose to abort the baby, you may not feel the guilt, but the girl as the one who has been carrying the foetus in her womb surely has a motherly instinct to feel guilty. In fact, all girls who abort their own babies do live with the guilt of the unborn baby, even after years past by. In extreme cases, the guilt may even lead to suicides.

On the other hand, if you as a "responsible father" (mind the apostrophes, pls!) choose to let the baby live, your girlfren still have to suffer more anyway. She may have to quit school, has to attend the baby for hours, milk the baby, while your responsibility is simply limited to providing both her and the baby money to live on.

In conclusion, for any guys out there who is reading this blog now, if you think that Love ≠ Lust, I ask you strongly to reconsider it. I'm not asking you to learn ethics, even if you're a free thinker. But the thing is; if you really love that girl you're in relationship with right now, can you ask yourself to restrain yourself from having sex before you're married? Sex is actually a expression of love purity, but it becomes so if you do it after you're legally married.

What do you think, then? The choice....... is yours.

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