Women: A chemical analysis

A tongue-in cheek e-mail

Element: Woman
Symbol: Wo
Discoverer: Adam
Atomic mass: Accepted as 53.6 kg but can range from 40kg-200kg
Occurrence: Copious quantities in all urban areas
Physical properties:

• Boils at nothing, freezes with no known reason
• Bitter if incorrectly used
• Found in various states, ranging from virgin metal to common ore

Chemical properties:

• Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances
• May explode without warning
• Most powerful money-reducing agent known to man

Common uses:

• Highly ornamental
• Can be great aid to relaxation

Potential hazards:

• Illegal to possess more than one
• Highly dangerous, even in experienced hands

General advice:

• Avoid contact wherever possible as cures can be expensive!