Why dating anyone in Indonesia seems unlikely for me

Around last week Sis R asked me over the phone call, "Are you into anyone lately, bro?"


"Nah, just curious. Hehe"



"None", I asserted, "None really"

"Really....?" she sneered.

"Yeah. Oh well Sis, even if there is, it's not like I'm interested in going steady anyway."

"Huh? Why? That's weird"

"Well... It could inflict unnecessary hurt, you see."


"Well let's say that I'm interested in someone. I'm interested in her, and her feeling reciprocates. Then we decide to go steady and then...", I paused.

I halted there.

"And then what?"

"And then I suddenly have to move abroad to where I'm supposed to be going sometime sooner or later [read: USA]. Don't you think separation could inflict unnecessary pains? I don't want myself to get hurt, and I don't want her to get hurt either. I think it's better to keep things platonic for now. It's a sad fact really, but I can't bear to hurt anyone I love here in Indonesia."

Sis R did not answer for longer than my initial pause.

Until she finally answered, "Wow. I've never thought that you could become this mature. Yeah, together with your definition of love a couple of while back... I couldn't believe how much my brother has matured!"

I laughed, "Ah...you meant that the Toshi you knew back then in Bali was the childish one. So, should I take that as a compliment?"

"Yeah sure, you should!", and she laughed too.

"However T.. you haven't answered my initial question actually. Setting your eyes on any girl at the moment?"

I pondered over the question for a while.

5 seconds passed.


10 seconds.


20 seconds.



"Well, as I've said, even if there is, is it important? It's not like I would date her anyways. Well I would if I could, but you surely know that I really can't, seeing me with this American departure that could come down like the Dammocles' sword at any time... I'm very much interested in keeping things platonic for now!" I smiled, though not very assuringly.

"And who would you be interested in keeping that platonic relationship with, Toshi?" I could sense her beaming over the phone handle.

"Ah, perhaps anyone I could think of", I diverted.

And with that, I changed the topic of discussion into the impact of the American crisis on Balinese tourism.

Yonna  – (13 November 2008 at 23:34)  

i just got an advice "to boy, love story takes one chapter. to girl, love story takes one whole book"

yes i agree with you, to love someone means to be responsible with the relationship continuity itself. don't be an easy lover, you'll get easy heart broken/breaker too.

btw, i never call your real name, right?? i'm afraid i forgot and blurted it out :)

Yonna  – (14 November 2008 at 03:45)  

wooopssie typo...

you'll get easy heart broken/breaker too.

should be

you'll get easily heart broken/breake too.

toshi  – (15 November 2008 at 23:03)  


don't be an easy lover, you'll get easy heart broken/breaker too.

which is why i'm taking it easy now... a love relationship that starts quickly could also end quickly too, right? :)

anyway, it's perfectly fine if u call my real name (in e-mail or YM)... but i still prefer if u call me by my alias Toshi though. hehe

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