how long will I remain stuck here

35 days away now, and I’ll finally be leaving the Northern Kentucky area for good!!

Or not.

Damn, this lockdown sucks.

While I’m finally on the verge of moving to the new state, I still have no idea if I’d legally be allowed to move there by the end of May.

I had paid for Airbnb reservation for the first 32 days in the new city, and all my plans are set, ready to hand in my two-week notice to my manager...but all this would need to be postponed indefinitely if the governor of that state decides to prolong the temporary ban on vacation rentals.

I wish I had just moved to Houston TX in early 2019 instead of waiting around to see if Angie (or anyone whose beauty and intellect can match hers) can be found in Cincinnati area...because guess what: there is absolutely nobody else like her in here.

But there is no use regretting it.

At least I know what I want now. With the absence of any girlfriend figure in my life, I am okay with being single for the next several years IF I can get to fulfill my life calling by living near the sea again.

Somehow, the sea heals everything... My two recent trips to Mexico has proven that.

The sea is not a vacation place for me.
The sea is not a vacation place for me.

Let me repeat:
The sea is NOT a vacation place for me.

The sea is home!

Being so far away from the sea for so many years has made me indifferent to life in general...my mind and soul had been seeking for a place to settle down, thinking that it was because I wanted to move to Japan, or Indonesia, or Europe, etc.....but no, the answer has been staring at me all along....it's the sea.

So this is the time when the Japanese concept of gaman has to come into play: I just have to suck it up and remain stoic, at least in public.

I wish I could find that Angie-like figure who will be my life partner (wherever she is), but until that time comes, I just need to remain committed to my goals and keep myself accountable not just to my family and cats, but also to God.

Read more...

on Lockdown


It sucks, really.

I normally put myself under "voluntary quarantine" during Winter (because I fucking hate cold), but now that it's Spring, I still can't even go out because of the pandemic.

Anyway, I know for sure that life would have been a lot better if only Angie just gave me a chance.

I would've loooooved to be quarantined with her!

But alas, she has never wanted to go out with me.

My fault, really.

I should have just asked her to go out since the first day I talked with her back in mid-July 2018...back then I already felt it in my heart that she was the woman I wanted to marry.

And she still is.

I had wanted to marry her in summer 2018, and I still want to marry her today.

She is the one woman who got away, and to this day I still regret the fact that I did not just seize the day and simply asked her out back in summer 2018 instead of wasting my time on frivolous pursuits.

But oh well.

So now that I have other horizons in mind, what kind of woman do I want as a partner, really?

Well, she needs to be:

1. Catholic
2. Thalassophile (i.e. loves the sea)
3. Honest
4. Loves Japanese and/or French culture
5. Loves cats and dogs

Points no.1, 3, and 5 are easy to find among women in Cincinnati area.

Actually it's not that hard to find honest Catholic woman who loves animals.

Point 4 is a bit more challenging but not hard to find.

But as for point 2?

Yikes, no such luck.

Until this day, Angie is the only person who has ever fulfilled all five points of the above.

She is the only one who has ever fulfilled everything that I want in a wife.

But since Angie turned me down repeatedly, I kinda had no choice but look for "a second version" of Angie out there.

She becomes "the gold standard" that I compare every woman I meet since 2018.

Pathetic, huh?

I know...but I just don't see other women the same way since I met Angie haha.

Anyway, I'll probably live the rest of my life as a single man if I continue living in Cincinnati.

I had done a random survey of several female coworkers and friends of my age on what they think if one day their boyfriend/husband asked them to move to coastal area.

Or, if they're single, I ask them what they think about moving to coastal area.

Caveat: 
I don't have interest in any of them...my survey was purely to gauge the societal opinion of Midwestern women on moving to the coastal area

Do you know what they say?

It's either "Hmm I don't think so"

or "My family and friends are all in this area, how could I possibly move out of Ohio/Kentucky??"

or "Beach is nice and all, but I don't see myself living near the beach forever".

Yikes.

It was just before New Year's of 2020 that I finally found out that I had to move out of the Midwest area.

There is nothing wrong with women who like living in the Midwest, of course....this is totally their prerogative.

However, I cannot date or marry any of them.

Visiting the sea/ocean to sit at the beach and enjoy the sea breeze while listening to sea waves and cries of sea gull is something I want to look forward to every weekend.

Yes, every damn weekend. Not just "once-a-year-vacation" or "once-every-six-months trip" kind of bullshit.

I just don't envision myself having a life partner who does not want to live near the sea/ocean.

This has always been the case since 2006.

(I had only dated girls who were born in island countries for this very reason)



By moving to a coastal town, I could eliminate the need to ask for potential girlfriend in the future to move somewhere else...because there is no need to move anymore! She is already livin in a coastal area! Haha.

So yeah, I'm still looking forward to move to that coastal town I've been setting my eyes on.

Of course, I am not moving there for the sole reason of finding a girlfriend. I am not that stupid.

I am simply looking forward to be able to improve myself on skills that I have been working on while preparing myself to be a good potential husband, son-in-law, and probably even father.

Of course, I have been working on the self-improvement while still living in Northern KY area, BUT there is not much that I look forward to on weekends in Cincinnati.

In Cincinnati, it's either going with hiking club, or just go to bars.

Yikes.

No beach to visit here.

Plus, during winters in Cincinnati, I basically don't go out to socialize at all, so there's also the factor of winter.

It's only a matter of days now, and all this will be over and I can finally start my life anew.

Read more...

  © Blogger template Shush by Ourblogtemplates.com 2009

Back to TOP