on Weekends

Yesterday marked exactly one month after I started my new job near downtown, and I have a few things to write here.

My commute to and from the office takes around 35 to 45 minutes each time, and I tend to either go to the gym to exercise a bit after work, because sitting on the desk for eight hours could be so dull sometimes.

Since I work on a Monday to Friday schedule (7:30-16:30) now, I check my Weather app daily and constantly wish for a sunny day outside on the weekends.

Because there has been a string of rainy weekends lately.

Which sucks.

In another news, Madeline (my most recent crush) had been somewhat avoiding me lately, presumably because she is being betrothed by her parents to someone else from her home country (which I won't name here, but it does have a population of 1.5 billion).

I was surprised that someone as highly educated as she is prefers to follow the tradition of her parents, especially since she has graduated with a doctorate degree after nine years of education in two separate states in the U.S.

But hey, that's her choice.

I was planning to bake a cake for her 30th birthday (which falls on the week after Mother's Day)...

However, with the excuses she makes to not hang out with me anymore, I grow tired of pursuing her already.

I just shrug and move on.

Anyway, still glad I discovered a new passion for baking though...my parents and sister are definitely delighted to try out my (usually) tasty baking experiments!

And maybe....just maybe, one day I'll find a special someone to bake a surprise birthday cake for!

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So as of this point, I do not have a crush or love interest in anyone in particular.

For the first time since 2012, my heart is finally free from being hurt!

That being said, it is nice to finally have other friends to hang out with.

Just because I no longer hang out with Madeline does not mean I no longer look forward to my weekends.

If weather permits, I still hike with the hiking club every Saturday morning. Afterwards, I'd join some folks from the club hanging out at a nearby Starbucks.

The demographics of the hiking club tend to be 40 years old and above, so I do meet quite a sizable number of divorced people in our group.

It is amazing how much wisdom I gained by talking to some of them.

Maybe I'll share one of their stories in this blog sometime.

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Anyway, last weekend happened to be the nicest weekend I have had in a while.

I went with Kristin and her mother to see a live classical music concert near downtown.

Kristin's mother did not seem to be a huge fan of classical music, but she wanted to accompany us simply because she was visiting the U.S. for only a few weeks.

Kristin's family members live outside the country. And because of Kristin's work schedule at the hospital, her mother wants to maximize the time they spend with each other.

Kristin herself seemed to be very knowledgeable of classical composers despite barely playing a musical instrument, and I found myself impressed. Even her Spotify playlists were filled with classical music albums!

There is actually a reason why she knows so much about classical music, but I don't think I am at liberty to write down the things she told me (because it was a very personal reason). So I'll just leave it at that.

I'd love to go see a classical music concert with her again though.

So it is to my dismay that I found out that the Symphony Orchestra's season is coming to a close this week. They will commence their next season in September.

Oh well.

Nonetheless, this coming weekend the three of us are planning to go out again, to see the Asian food festival in downtown.

Unlike the previous years, I am looking forward to see this one because I finally have friends to go with, who happen to be people outside the family!

However, the weather forecast for this weekend does not seem good so far.

It is predicted to rain this coming Saturday and Sunday.

WHY.

I do hope that it would be limited to light showers only though...

Keeping my fingers crossed!

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on Productive Lent

Hope you had a very happy Easter, everyone!

This past Lent was....tough at first.

However, it had also been one of the most productive months in my life.

No kidding.


I did the following stuff:

1. joined more clubs than I could count, 
2. visited Mexico for three days,
3. got a new job with a career projection that matches my university degrees, 
4. got myself a new car,
5. broke the cycle of an odious addiction,
6. gained confidence in talking to strangers,
7. started new sports, and
8. tried baking

Every single one of them were impulsive decisions.

It was like I decided one day to just change my life trajectory into something totally different altogether.

Let me elaborate on some of them...

1. Joining clubs

I found a website online (not dating site/app) where I could find clubs and groups with people of like-minded interests.

There are two clubs that I have been attending somewhat religiously since mid-March: a French-speaking conversation group and a hiking club.

As for the other clubs, I only attend them whenever my schedule allows it.

2. Visited Mexico

It was an impulsive last-minute vacation trip. The buildup that led to this impulsive decision deserves a whole blog post of its own.

3. Got a new job

For this one, I did not expect to get the job.

I got the job offer through e-mail, and I just said, what the heck, might as well.

So I accepted the interview offer, half-expecting to fail it. 

Had I failed the interview, my plan was to leave the country to pursue Master's degree in Marseilles, France.

But hey, because of my nonchalant attitude, I came to the interview with a totally calm composure......and somehow I got the job.

So basically I started my foray into the world of 8-5 career job because of a relaxed attitude during interview.

Go figure.

4. Got myself a new car

It's a silver Honda Civic. Hurray for 5-year-contract!

5. Broke the cycle of an odious addiction

Because I don't know who might be reading this blog entry, I will not name what kind of addiction that had been plaguing me all these years.

(It's not drugs or alcohol though, in case you're wondering)

But last month, I just decided to suddenly quit cold turkey.

Just like that.

It has been more than six weeks since I quit this addiction, and though there had been temptations for me to go back into that cycle, two of my confidantes had been very helpful in supporting me constantly in this battle against my inner demons.

All of a sudden, I started having more time for things that actually do matter.

And I started meeting people who do matter.

Which brings me to point no. 6.....

6. Gained confidence

I wouldn't say that I turned into a charming Casanova overnight, because it certainly is a process.

I still am not a Casanova and have no intention to become one.

The thing is that: I was once an introvert who barely ever spoke two words to strangers unless they ask me a question.

Then, quitting my addiction from No.5 above also seemed to turn all the other "switches" in my brain from "OFF" into "ON" mode, especially in terms of confidence.

As of now, I am still a shy introvert.

But after meeting many new people in the clubs I attended, PLUS the fact that I had been able to quit my addiction, I have no problem in talking and connecting to people I meet for the first time.

Even with people I had almost nothing in common with.

One of the methods that seemed to work very well is to ask them open-ended questions (i.e. not seeking one-word answers). Once they start elaborating about their life details, I can usually find a connection that perhaps he/she and I share.

This method worked...really well....because I happened to find my new crush Madeline that way.

We just hung out one day after the club meeting.

While sitting on a park bench, she started sobbing while telling me about her relationship with her parents who live in a different country.

Upon her sudden outburst, I did not try to hug her or try to comfort her by doing anything physical because I had a feeling that her culture is not the hugging type.

But it was from that moment that I started having feelings for her.

Unfortunately, she would always remain merely a crush because there is no possibility of me ever dating her.

More on that next time.

7. Started totally new sports

I started by doing Aquaclimb. In case you don't know what that is, it looks like this:

Then I evolved into bouldering, which looks like this:

Of course I can't do the steep part of the bouldering like what that man in the picture is doing, but so far I have found the adrenaline rush to be a great "fix" to help distract my mind from my tempting addiction which sometimes still haunts me every once in a while.

For those who are unfamiliar, the difference between "bouldering" and "rock climbing" is the fact that the former does not use any ropes or rappels. Bouldering also tends to be done on shorter walls too.

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I also started snorkeling recently.

This was also partially inspired by Madeline.

Snorkeling will serve as a segue into the world of scuba diving, which is my actual goal (and hers too, coincidentally...)

I have inquired the local scuba diving school in Cincinnati for a four-week PADI scuba-diving certification course, and so far the earliest date I could join a class would be either June or July.

Which gives me plenty of time to practice my swimming skills.

We'll see.

8. Tried baking

I actually started this new hobby because I wanted to bake a cake for Madeline's 30th birthday in May.

Now that I know I have no prospect of dating her, I most likely will not bake her anything.

(Again, I will write about why it is so on a latter blog entry)

But along the way, I discovered that I like baking after all!

So far I have only baked:

• pouding chomeur
• matcha cookies
• coconut cookies
• coconut macaroon
• bibingka
• matcha steamed cakes
• chocolate steamed cakes

The only real full-sized cakes on the list above are the Canadian pouding chomeur and Filipino bibingka. 

All the rest are cookies or cupcakes.

Madeline did find it fascinating that I was able to not make a mess on my first attempts at baking (she only saw pictures but did not get to taste though).

It was an encouragement that really made my weekend.

But anyway, this is a skill I never knew I would ever end up liking!

I started the learning experience to impress a crush but end up sticking to it as a hobby, even if my original goal changed.

Oh well!

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on being grateful

At first, my folks told me to be grateful that I did not move to southern US, and I found this bitter truth hard to swallow.

I mean, why??? Why do I have to stay here in Cincinnati area when I had been planning to move for so long???

I woke up each morning with cold sweat on my back, wishing for a past that no longer matters.

Trying yoga helped to a certain extent, but when I was struck by bitterness and hurt that was so deep, sometimes even the best intentions failed to heal the pain in my heart.

Until one day, I found a reason to look forward to a new day each morning.

I am grateful for the new job that God had granted to me.

I am grateful for the new perspectives in life that I had gained after everything was said and done.

I am grateful that I had a chance to meet new folks to practice my small talk and confidence for the past two weeks.

And most of all, I am grateful that I chose to stay here in Cincinnati.

Otherwise, I would not have met you here :)

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Rina Anita Syarifah: In Memoriam (1970-2018)

When I was a kid, Tante (aunt) Rina often stopped by my home to bring me chocolates and other delicious treats, which I had always loved. 

Being my mother's younger sister, she had had no children of her own until a few years ago. Therefore, she had always spoiled her nephews and nieces with toys and treats despite the fact that she was never wealthy.

taken in the early 1990s in Taman Safari, West Java province, Indonesia

When she was much younger, not only had she won singing competitions, she also played the piano and danced traditional dances...including Balinese dances which were known to be hard to learn! Her musical talent was such that my mother told me that she was able to sing and hum musical notes while listening to another completely different song in the background!

Friends and family alike had remarked that she could have been a nationally famous celebrity, until she decided to choose another vocation.

Her passion in life was always in teaching children and teenagers, and that was the path she ended up taking.

Tante Rina told me that although she initially wanted to major in Japanese, she ended up enrolling as an English major (Japanese was not available at her college yet, if I am not mistaken). 

So, it is possible that my passion for Japanese language and culture must have been partially inherited from her.

As a college professor, she was a blessing to many of her college students. I must have been 8 or 9 years old when Tante Rina brought me to the class she was teaching. Her students remarked to me, privately, how lucky I was to have such an intelligent and kind aunt like her. And when she moved to teach at a different university, she was greatly missed by the former students she left behind.

When I stayed at her home during elementary school holidays, I was always greeted by Tante Rina's many cats. A well-known cat-lover, she was taking in strays as she could not bear to see them being malnourished on the streets. At one time, she even owned up to 20-25 cats!

However, in Indonesia, house cats are always free to roam outdoors. Thus, there had never been an issue of hygiene because all her cats were always cared for properly.

from left to right: Tante Rina, my late grandma, and my mother

My fondest memories of her was when she took me and other cousins swimming at the waterpark, and afterwards she would buy me books at the Gramedia bookstore (my sister Mary was still an infant at the time). Sometimes Tante would also spoil us by taking us to eat at Japanese restaurants or American fast-food chains at malls.

People had told me that she had never lost a single Monopoly game before. Because of this, I don't think my cousins and I ever played Monopoly with her, choosing instead to stick to "safer" games such as Ludo, Snakes & Ladders, domino, and rummy card games. 

As I was a crybaby back then, I usually started crying when I had a losing streak in my rummy card games. After which, oddly enough, I began winning! I did not understand it back then, but as I got older, I surmised that I started winning because she had chosen to let me win.

Tante Rina told me that she always believed I could be successful in life, and that I had the potential to get good grades at school. It was this belief that helped propel me to gain a scholarship to study in Singapore back in 2005.

Tante Rina passed away at her residence in Jakarta, Indonesia after battling breast cancer for months. She was survived by her husband and son.

my last picture ever taken with Tante Rina in South Tangerang, Indonesia on 7 July 2009

If I had a chance to spend one more hour to meet you Tante, I'd have liked us to play one more rummy card game while we go out to eat at a Japanese restaurant at Bintaro Plaza. And this time, I'd be the one paying for our food.

Rest in Peace, Tante.

(22 February 1970 - 24 July 2018)

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Black Panther

A fast-paced, terrific watch featuring many well-renowned and budding actors alike. While it might not have been the first black superhero film as many had pointed out, "Black Panther" brings Sub-Saharan-African culture into the spotlight by combining many elements of pan-African tradition (such as speaking Xhosa and English interchangeably) with American-style superhero story.

My rating: 8 stars out of 10.

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