Foreign Prophecies

how long will I remain stuck here

>> 19 April 2020 – personal

35 days away now, and I’ll finally be leaving the Northern Kentucky area for good!!

Or not.

Damn, this lockdown sucks.

While I’m finally on the verge of moving to the new state, I still have no idea if I’d legally be allowed to move there by the end of May.

I had paid for Airbnb reservation for the first 32 days in the new city, and all my plans are set, ready to hand in my two-week notice to my manager...but all this would need to be postponed indefinitely if the governor of that state decides to prolong the temporary ban on vacation rentals.

I wish I had just moved to Houston TX in early 2019 instead of waiting around to see if Angie (or anyone whose beauty and intellect can match hers) can be found in Cincinnati area...because guess what: there is absolutely nobody else like her in here.

But there is no use regretting it.

At least I know what I want now. With the absence of any girlfriend figure in my life, I am okay with being single for the next several years IF I can get to fulfill my life calling by living near the sea again.

Somehow, the sea heals everything... My two recent trips to Mexico has proven that.

The sea is not a vacation place for me.
The sea is not a vacation place for me.

Let me repeat:
The sea is NOT a vacation place for me.

The sea is home!

Being so far away from the sea for so many years has made me indifferent to life in general...my mind and soul had been seeking for a place to settle down, thinking that it was because I wanted to move to Japan, or Indonesia, or Europe, etc.....but no, the answer has been staring at me all along....it's the sea.

So this is the time when the Japanese concept of gaman has to come into play: I just have to suck it up and remain stoic, at least in public.

I wish I could find that Angie-like figure who will be my life partner (wherever she is), but until that time comes, I just need to remain committed to my goals and keep myself accountable not just to my family and cats, but also to God.

on Lockdown

>> 25 March 2020 – personal

It sucks, really.

I normally put myself under "voluntary quarantine" during Winter (because I fucking hate cold), but now that it's Spring, I still can't even go out because of the pandemic.

Anyway, I know for sure that life would have been a lot better if only Angie just gave me a chance.

I would've loooooved to be quarantined with her!

But alas, she has never wanted to go out with me.

My fault, really.

I should have just asked her to go out since the first day I talked with her back in mid-July 2018...back then I already felt it in my heart that she was the woman I wanted to marry.

And she still is.

I had wanted to marry her in summer 2018, and I still want to marry her today.

She is the one woman who got away, and to this day I still regret the fact that I did not just seize the day and simply asked her out back in summer 2018 instead of wasting my time on frivolous pursuits.

But oh well.

So now that I have other horizons in mind, what kind of woman do I want as a partner, really?

Well, she needs to be:

1. Catholic
2. Thalassophile (i.e. loves the sea)
3. Honest
4. Loves Japanese and/or French culture
5. Loves cats and dogs

Points no.1, 3, and 5 are easy to find among women in Cincinnati area.

Actually it's not that hard to find honest Catholic woman who loves animals.

Point 4 is a bit more challenging but not hard to find.

But as for point 2?

Yikes, no such luck.

Until this day, Angie is the only person who has ever fulfilled all five points of the above.

She is the only one who has ever fulfilled everything that I want in a wife.

But since Angie turned me down repeatedly, I kinda had no choice but look for "a second version" of Angie out there.

She becomes "the gold standard" that I compare every woman I meet since 2018.

Pathetic, huh?

I know...but I just don't see other women the same way since I met Angie haha.

Anyway, I'll probably live the rest of my life as a single man if I continue living in Cincinnati.

I had done a random survey of several female coworkers and friends of my age on what they think if one day their boyfriend/husband asked them to move to coastal area.

Or, if they're single, I ask them what they think about moving to coastal area.

Caveat:

I don't have interest in any of them...my survey was purely to gauge the societal opinion of Midwestern women on moving to the coastal area

Do you know what they say?

It's either "Hmm I don't think so"

or "My family and friends are all in this area, how could I possibly move out of Ohio/Kentucky??"

or "Beach is nice and all, but I don't see myself living near the beach forever".

Yikes.

It was just before New Year's of 2020 that I finally found out that I had to move out of the Midwest area.

There is nothing wrong with women who like living in the Midwest, of course....this is totally their prerogative.

However, I cannot date or marry any of them.

Visiting the sea/ocean to sit at the beach and enjoy the sea breeze while listening to sea waves and cries of sea gull is something I want to look forward to every weekend.

Yes, every damn weekend. Not just "once-a-year-vacation" or "once-every-six-months trip" kind of bullshit.

I just don't envision myself having a life partner who does not want to live near the sea/ocean.

This has always been the case since 2006.

(I had only dated girls who were born in island countries for this very reason)

By moving to a coastal town, I could eliminate the need to ask for potential girlfriend in the future to move somewhere else...because there is no need to move anymore! She is already livin in a coastal area! Haha.

So yeah, I'm still looking forward to move to that coastal town I've been setting my eyes on.

Of course, I am not moving there for the sole reason of finding a girlfriend. I am not that stupid.

I am simply looking forward to be able to improve myself on skills that I have been working on while preparing myself to be a good potential husband, son-in-law, and probably even father.

Of course, I have been working on the self-improvement while still living in Northern KY area, BUT there is not much that I look forward to on weekends in Cincinnati.

In Cincinnati, it's either going with hiking club, or just go to bars.

Yikes.

No beach to visit here.

Plus, during winters in Cincinnati, I basically don't go out to socialize at all, so there's also the factor of winter.

It's only a matter of days now, and all this will be over and I can finally start my life anew.

My second step in moving on

>> 22 November 2019 – personal

The following is an addendum to the message from three days ago which I will never send to her, but I feel worth emphasizing here...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I know you will never read this blog post, Angie, but for what it's worth, I would've loved to marry you.

As God is my witness, I've never felt as strongly about anyone before.

Not even toward any of my ex-girlfriends.

I've never really wanted to just stop at dating you... I've always wanted to marry you.

I felt that on the first day we talked back in mid-July 2018.

And I still feel the same way until this very day.

I've had other crushes since then, since the day you turned down my invitation to go out with me last March, but honestly, I would've dropped my interest in any of them if only you had just said "Okay, I change my mind Thomas...I would love to go out with you!"

I waited and waited, but it never happened.

Oh well.

By January 2020, if I still haven't moved on from you....if I still check your Facebook profile everyday (just like I have been since July 2018), then I need to do the one thing I need to do to heal, which is to unfriend you from all my social media accounts.

Again, I will not be doing this out of anger or vengeance, but out of my need to heal.

My heart will never heal if I keep checking your social media profiles, ya know?

After you read the Facebook message I sent yesterday, I hope you go to sleep knowing that I will still be praying for your happiness, success and wellbeing, even if we're no longer "friends" on social media accounts.

One important lesson I have learned after being alive for 30 years is that true love means wanting the best for that person...even if that means I am no longer part of the equation.

May God keep you safe and warm this coming winter, Angie.

Please enjoy the beaches of the Philippines when you visit your family there again.

I don't really believe in reincarnation, but if it happens to be real and we both get reincarnated after we die, then I will look for your reincarnated soul.

I will find you and I will show you the kind of world I would have given to you if you had let me show it to you in the first place.

My first step in moving on

>> 20 November 2019 – personal

Angie's birthday is coming up on the 26th.

Originally I wanted to send this message on her birthday itself, but I did not want to inundate her Facebook inbox with a long message on that day with my personal, selfish outpouring of love.

Just a little bit of context: I was in the middle of chatting with her about something else (on Facebook) when I sent her this following message...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I know you’re probably busy, so let me cut to the chase. I would’ve loved to say this in person, but the timing was never right when we were still working together at [redacted] bc I was still in process of moving on from my ex back then.

I’ve had a crush on you since summer 2018.

That's why I gave you those gifts out of the blue when I was still working there (you probably don't even remember abt them by now lol). I don’t give gifts to random friends, ya know?

After you turned down my invitation to go out with me last spring, I’ve been looking for other girls in Cincinnati area to replace your position in my heart. My feelings toward them kept fading away and...I found myself missing you again and again. They’re just not comparable to you.

It’s hard to find anyone whose elegance, intellect and interests even closely resembles you.

Not only you’re a sea-lover who is a devout Catholic, but you’re witty, have such a soothing voice, have a great taste in music, like Japanese culture, and very loving to your family members.

Plus, both your parents come from different cultures and speak different languages (Cebuano, Tagalog, Canadian French) that I feel like I could learn a lot from them if I had gotten to know them closely as well.

So now you can add my name to the list of your admirers!

Anyway…. I’m fully aware that you don’t feel the same way about me, and I’ve accepted that.

I care enough for you that I wish the best kind of life for you, even if that means you’d rather focus on your studies or wait for someone else better to come along instead.

But before I move away from the [redacted] area, I’m wondering if I could give you one farewell gesture. I’d be honored if I could bake you a cake for your birthday next week, if that’s okay with you?

If not, that is fine, I only wanted to convey what I needed to say to you. Just remember that there is one more person out here who will be praying for you from afar, so that God always keeps you safe and that your dreams will be fulfilled in their due time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It has been nearly 24 hours since I sent the message above and she still has not replied.

My guess is she probably never will.

on Oktoberfest

>> 24 September 2019 – personal

Naaah, I didn't go!

Early Saturday morning, Kristin texted me if I wanted to go out with her to see the Oktoberfest downtown later in the afternoon.

Except that I already had a prior appointment for an event with the Catholic organization Knights of Columbus.

If she had texted me this two months ago, I would have jumped at the opportunity and cancelled any prior appointments I had that day just so that I could go out with her.

But no, I'm no longer willing to be someone's "backup plan" anymore.

And anyway, I'm already at peace with the way things are now.

(fingers crossed, because I'm currently in the middle of a huge "extracurricular project"...hahahaha)

A quick ~~stalking session~~ peek on her Facebook profile (which I have not had time to open since June, btw) did not show any trace of the guy she allegedly had met from the Bumble dating app.

Apparently she ended up not dating him anyway.

Sorry dear, you're too late. I hope everything works out well for you.

What is going on?

>> 7 June 2019 – personal

Sometimes I ask myself, is it possible for us to be hanging out nonstop and stay platonic friends?

I found myself wondering about this after I realized that we both just started subscription to the same places, and it was a decision that we just took on the spot.

On some days we’d barely text each other but then we’d find ourselves having heart-to-heart conversation at her couch...afterwards, I would drive home from her place at around 10pm.

I mean, is this normal?

Would I end up developing feelings for her?

Because if I do, I know I am not ready to jump into a new relationship (yet).

I will only end up hurting her in the end, as since I know I don’t have the level of maturity that she has. And I’m still not entirely sure if I want to settle in this area (yet).

All of these things might change, though.

Who knows.

I'm still trying to find the best "niche" for me at the moment, in terms of hobbies, personality, and the kinds of people I want to surround myself with.

I’m playing it by ear for now, but I hope I can find some answers, soon.

on Hot yoga

>> 23 May 2019 – personal

Yesterday would have been the day of Kristin's raincheck day for our second session of rock climbing, but I texted her that I was still wheezing from asthma. The most strenuous activity I could have done yesterday would have been yoga.

It was truly a disappointment for me because I really really wanted to go rock climbing again with her.

Which was why, to my surprise, she texted back that we can just go again next week...

And then she asked me if I wanted to do hot yoga with her that day.

Was that what I think it was?

It was!

For those who don't know, hot yoga is the type of yoga that is done in a steaming hot room set to a temperature of 104 F.

So after work, I drove to her apartment which was located a bit north from my office. Then she always offers my fave chocolate every time I come visit her place which was really nice!

Then we talked for a bit before we went together to the yoga studio. By the time we finished the hour-long yoga session, we were both so drenched wet that our shirts looked like they were soaked in a bucket of water! I changed shirt at the yoga studio though, because I did not want to stink her car with my sweat.

During the yoga session, I noticed how surprising with how much energy she has, considering the fact that the hours she spends doing surgery at the hospital is pretty brutal.

But for what it's worth, I am happy that she shares similar passions for bouldering, hiking, and yoga!

So after showering at her place, I asked her if she wanted to go to my alma mater's gym sometime next week, because over there we can do not just bouldering, but also swim afterwards.

She said she hasn't done swimming for a while, but she is definitely interested in going bouldering and swimming together, so this is something I am looking forward to!

on Rock climbing for the first time

>> 20 May 2019 – personal

Last Friday I went bouldering and rock climbing at the climbing gym where I have a membership, and Kristin came with me because I have a free guest pass.

For those who don't know, the difference between the two activities is that bouldering requires no ropes (done on a shorter wall) while rock climbing does (because it is done on a much taller wall).

It was Kristin's first time in bouldering, and to my surprise she was pretty good at it as a beginner. Then we went rock climbing.

To enter the rock climbing area and use the rope and harness, we needed to be instructed first on how to belay (because one person would need to be climbing while the other belays the rope from the bottom).

She was better at tying the knots because of her surgical skills. It was probably the most strenuous exercise I had done all year, but I'm glad I did it with her!

She is good with her hands.

The next day (Saturday) was another day where the climbing gym gave away free guest passes for members. I asked Kristin if she could come, but she said she couldn't because she had other appointments.

So I decided, on a whim, to see the musical Singin in the Rain by myself. It was a lovely musical, actually!

on Weekends

>> 9 May 2019 – personal

Yesterday marked exactly one month after I started my new job near downtown, and I have a few things to write here.

My commute to and from the office takes around 35 to 45 minutes each time, and I tend to either go to the gym to exercise a bit after work, because sitting on the desk for eight hours could be so dull sometimes.

Since I work on a Monday to Friday schedule (7:30-16:30) now, I check my Weather app daily and constantly wish for a sunny day outside on the weekends.

Because there has been a string of rainy weekends lately.

Which sucks.

In another news, Madeline (my most recent crush) had been somewhat avoiding me lately, presumably because she is being betrothed by her parents to someone else from her home country (which I won't name here, but it does have a population of 1.5 billion).

I was surprised that someone as highly educated as she is prefers to follow the tradition of her parents, especially since she has graduated with a doctorate degree after nine years of education in two separate states in the U.S.

But hey, that's her choice.

I was planning to bake a cake for her 30th birthday (which falls on the week after Mother's Day)...

However, with the excuses she makes to not hang out with me anymore, I grow tired of pursuing her already.

I just shrug and move on.

Anyway, still glad I discovered a new passion for baking though...my parents and sister are definitely delighted to try out my (usually) tasty baking experiments!

And maybe....just maybe, one day I'll find a special someone to bake a surprise birthday cake for!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So as of this point, I do not have a crush or love interest in anyone in particular.

For the first time since 2012, my heart is finally free from being hurt!

That being said, it is nice to finally have other friends to hang out with.

Just because I no longer hang out with Madeline does not mean I no longer look forward to my weekends.

If weather permits, I still hike with the hiking club every Saturday morning. Afterwards, I'd join some folks from the club hanging out at a nearby Starbucks.

The demographics of the hiking club tend to be 40 years old and above, so I do meet quite a sizable number of divorced people in our group.

It is amazing how much wisdom I gained by talking to some of them.

Maybe I'll share one of their stories in this blog sometime.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Anyway, last weekend happened to be the nicest weekend I have had in a while.

I went with Kristin and her mother to see a live classical music concert near downtown.

Kristin's mother did not seem to be a huge fan of classical music, but she wanted to accompany us simply because she was visiting the U.S. for only a few weeks.

Kristin's family members live outside the country. And because of Kristin's work schedule at the hospital, her mother wants to maximize the time they spend with each other.

Kristin herself seemed to be very knowledgeable of classical composers despite barely playing a musical instrument, and I found myself impressed. Even her Spotify playlists were filled with classical music albums!

There is actually a reason why she knows so much about classical music, but I don't think I am at liberty to write down the things she told me (because it was a very personal reason). So I'll just leave it at that.

I'd love to go see a classical music concert with her again though.

So it is to my dismay that I found out that the Symphony Orchestra's season is coming to a close this week. They will commence their next season in September.

Oh well.

Nonetheless, this coming weekend the three of us are planning to go out again, to see the Asian food festival in downtown.

Unlike the previous years, I am looking forward to see this one because I finally have friends to go with, who happen to be people outside the family!

However, the weather forecast for this weekend does not seem good so far.

It is predicted to rain this coming Saturday and Sunday.

WHY.

I do hope that it would be limited to light showers only though...

Keeping my fingers crossed!

on Productive Lent

Hope you had a very happy Easter, everyone!

This past Lent was....tough at first.

However, it had also been one of the most productive months in my life.

No kidding.

I did the following stuff:

joined more clubs than I could count,
visited Mexico for three days,
got a new job with a career projection that matches my university degrees,
got myself a new car,
broke the cycle of an odious addiction,
gained confidence in talking to strangers,
started new sports, and
tried baking

Every single one of them were impulsive decisions.

It was like I decided one day to just change my life trajectory into something totally different altogether.

Let me elaborate on some of them...

1. Joining clubs

I found a website online (not dating site/app) where I could find clubs and groups with people of like-minded interests.

There are two clubs that I have been attending somewhat religiously since mid-March: a French-speaking conversation group and a hiking club.

As for the other clubs, I only attend them whenever my schedule allows it.

2. Visited Mexico

It was an impulsive last-minute vacation trip. The buildup that led to this impulsive decision deserves a whole blog post of its own.

3. Got a new job

For this one, I did not expect to get the job.

I got the job offer through e-mail, and I just said, what the heck, might as well.

So I accepted the interview offer, half-expecting to fail it.

Had I failed the interview, my plan was to leave the country to pursue Master's degree in Marseilles, France.

But hey, because of my nonchalant attitude, I came to the interview with a totally calm composure......and somehow I got the job.

So basically I started my foray into the world of 8-5 career job because of a relaxed attitude during interview.

Go figure.

4. Got myself a new car

It's a silver Honda Civic. Hurray for 5-year-contract!

5. Broke the cycle of an odious addiction

Because I don't know who might be reading this blog entry, I will not name what kind of addiction that had been plaguing me all these years.

(It's not drugs or alcohol though, in case you're wondering)

But last month, I just decided to suddenly quit cold turkey.

Just like that.

It has been more than six weeks since I quit this addiction, and though there had been temptations for me to go back into that cycle, two of my confidantes had been very helpful in supporting me constantly in this battle against my inner demons.

All of a sudden, I started having more time for things that actually do matter.

And I started meeting people who do matter.

Which brings me to point no. 6.....

6. Gained confidence

I wouldn't say that I turned into a charming Casanova overnight, because it certainly is a process.

I still am not a Casanova and have no intention to become one.

The thing is that: I was once an introvert who barely ever spoke two words to strangers unless they ask me a question.

Then, quitting my addiction from No.5 above also seemed to turn all the other "switches" in my brain from "OFF" into "ON" mode, especially in terms of confidence.

As of now, I am still a shy introvert.

But after meeting many new people in the clubs I attended, PLUS the fact that I had been able to quit my addiction, I have no problem in talking and connecting to people I meet for the first time.

Even with people I had almost nothing in common with.

One of the methods that seemed to work very well is to ask them open-ended questions (i.e. not seeking one-word answers). Once they start elaborating about their life details, I can usually find a connection that perhaps he/she and I share.

This method worked...really well....because I happened to find my new crush Madeline that way.

We just hung out one day after the club meeting.

While sitting on a park bench, she started sobbing while telling me about her relationship with her parents who live in a different country.

Upon her sudden outburst, I did not try to hug her or try to comfort her by doing anything physical because I had a feeling that her culture is not the hugging type.

But it was from that moment that I started having feelings for her.

Unfortunately, she would always remain merely a crush because there is no possibility of me ever dating her.

More on that next time.

7. Started totally new sports

I started by doing Aquaclimb. In case you don't know what that is, it looks like this:

Then I evolved into bouldering, which looks like this:

Of course I can't do the steep part of the bouldering like what that man in the picture is doing, but so far I have found the adrenaline rush to be a great "fix" to help distract my mind from my tempting addiction which sometimes still haunts me every once in a while.

For those who are unfamiliar, the difference between "bouldering" and "rock climbing" is the fact that the former does not use any ropes or rappels. Bouldering also tends to be done on shorter walls too.

~~~~~~~~~~

I also started snorkeling recently.

This was also partially inspired by Madeline.

Snorkeling will serve as a segue into the world of scuba diving, which is my actual goal (and hers too, coincidentally...)

I have inquired the local scuba diving school in Cincinnati for a four-week PADI scuba-diving certification course, and so far the earliest date I could join a class would be either June or July.

Which gives me plenty of time to practice my swimming skills.

We'll see.

8. Tried baking

I actually started this new hobby because I wanted to bake a cake for Madeline's 30th birthday in May.

Now that I know I have no prospect of dating her, I most likely will not bake her anything.

(Again, I will write about why it is so on a latter blog entry)

But along the way, I discovered that I like baking after all!

So far I have only baked:

pouding chomeur
matcha cookies
coconut cookies
coconut macaroon
bibingka
matcha steamed cakes
chocolate steamed cakes

The only real full-sized cakes on the list above are the Canadian pouding chomeur and Filipino bibingka.

All the rest are cookies or cupcakes.

Madeline did find it fascinating that I was able to not make a mess on my first attempts at baking (she only saw pictures but did not get to taste though).

It was an encouragement that really made my weekend.

But anyway, this is a skill I never knew I would ever end up liking!

I started the learning experience to impress a crush but end up sticking to it as a hobby, even if my original goal changed.

Oh well!

on being grateful

>> 25 March 2019 – personal

At first, my folks told me to be grateful that I did not move to southern US, and I found this bitter truth hard to swallow.

I mean, why??? Why do I have to stay here in Cincinnati area when I had been planning to move for so long???

I woke up each morning with cold sweat on my back, wishing for a past that no longer matters.

Trying yoga helped to a certain extent, but when I was struck by bitterness and hurt that was so deep, sometimes even the best intentions failed to heal the pain in my heart.

Until one day, I found a reason to look forward to a new day each morning.

I am grateful for the new job that God had granted to me.

I am grateful for the new perspectives in life that I had gained after everything was said and done.

I am grateful that I had a chance to meet new folks to practice my small talk and confidence for the past two weeks.

And most of all, I am grateful that I chose to stay here in Cincinnati.

Otherwise, I would not have met you here :)

Rina Anita Syarifah: In Memoriam (1970-2018)

>> 24 July 2018 – obituary

When I was a kid, Tante (aunt) Rina often stopped by my home to bring me chocolates and other delicious treats, which I had always loved.

Being my mother's younger sister, she had had no children of her own until a few years ago. Therefore, she had always spoiled her nephews and nieces with toys and treats despite the fact that she was never wealthy.

taken in the early 1990s in Taman Safari, West Java province, Indonesia

When she was much younger, not only had she won singing competitions, she also played the piano and danced traditional dances...including Balinese dances which were known to be hard to learn! Her musical talent was such that my mother told me that she was able to sing and hum musical notes while listening to another completely different song in the background!

Friends and family alike had remarked that she could have been a nationally famous celebrity, until she decided to choose another vocation.

Her passion in life was always in teaching children and teenagers, and that was the path she ended up taking.

Tante Rina told me that although she initially wanted to major in Japanese, she ended up enrolling as an English major (Japanese was not available at her college yet, if I am not mistaken).

So, it is possible that my passion for Japanese language and culture must have been partially inherited from her.

As a college professor, she was a blessing to many of her college students. I must have been 8 or 9 years old when Tante Rina brought me to the class she was teaching. Her students remarked to me, privately, how lucky I was to have such an intelligent and kind aunt like her. And when she moved to teach at a different university, she was greatly missed by the former students she left behind.

When I stayed at her home during elementary school holidays, I was always greeted by Tante Rina's many cats. A well-known cat-lover, she was taking in strays as she could not bear to see them being malnourished on the streets. At one time, she even owned up to 20-25 cats!

However, in Indonesia, house cats are always free to roam outdoors. Thus, there had never been an issue of hygiene because all her cats were always cared for properly.

from left to right: Tante Rina, my late grandma, and my mother

My fondest memories of her was when she took me and other cousins swimming at the waterpark, and afterwards she would buy me books at the Gramedia bookstore (my sister Mary was still an infant at the time). Sometimes Tante would also spoil us by taking us to eat at Japanese restaurants or American fast-food chains at malls.

People had told me that she had never lost a single Monopoly game before. Because of this, I don't think my cousins and I ever played Monopoly with her, choosing instead to stick to "safer" games such as Ludo, Snakes & Ladders, domino, and rummy card games.

As I was a crybaby back then, I usually started crying when I had a losing streak in my rummy card games. After which, oddly enough, I began winning! I did not understand it back then, but as I got older, I surmised that I started winning because she had chosen to let me win.

Tante Rina told me that she always believed I could be successful in life, and that I had the potential to get good grades at school. It was this belief that helped propel me to gain a scholarship to study in Singapore back in 2005.

Tante Rina passed away at her residence in Jakarta, Indonesia after battling breast cancer for months. She was survived by her husband and son.

my last picture ever taken with Tante Rina in South Tangerang, Indonesia on 7 July 2009

If I had a chance to spend one more hour to meet you Tante, I'd have liked us to play one more rummy card game while we go out to eat at a Japanese restaurant at Bintaro Plaza. And this time, I'd be the one paying for our food.

Rest in Peace, Tante.

(22 February 1970 - 24 July 2018)

Black Panther

>> 15 June 2018 – film, movie

A fast-paced, terrific watch featuring many well-renowned and budding actors alike. While it might not have been the first black superhero film as many had pointed out, "Black Panther" brings Sub-Saharan-African culture into the spotlight by combining many elements of pan-African tradition (such as speaking Xhosa and English interchangeably) with American-style superhero story.

My rating: 8 stars out of 10.

Reading literature from most countries

>> 31 May 2018 – book

By now many have heard of the Pakistani teenage girl who has vowed to read literature from every country.

I find her mission to be a noble one, and I wish her the best in fulfilling it.

Emulating her example, I would also like to read literature from most countries. Unlike her, I find it impossible to read books from every country —be they fiction or not — for the following reasons:

Some smaller countries may not have had their literature translated into English yet.
Even if they have had their literature translated into English, the subject of the books from that country might not interest me that much. Life is too short to be reading books in topics I have no interest in.

Since I am able to read books in English, Indonesian, Malay, and French, I am able to read many of the books in their original language.

I have no qualms against Anglophone authors. As a matter of fact, I have just finished a few novels by American authors earlier this year.

Nonetheless, to have their works translated into English, the authors from that non-English-speaking country would need to pique the interest of international publishers enough lest those oeuvre would not sell.

So the consensus is that if the book is already translated for British/Australian/North American audience, we can be rest assured that it is a quality book.

"The Core of the Sun" by Johanna Sinisalo

>> 30 May 2018 – book

What an amusing story!

In this novel, the modern-day Finland is a dictatorship.

Unlike the real-life dictatorships like North Korea, however, the Finland in this story does not have an authoritarian leader to be worshipped. Instead, the Finns are always encouraged to improve their health and their standings in society. Trappings of modern technology such as internet and cellphones do not exist (presumably because of its bad radiation effects). Alcohol, tobacco, narcotic drugs, and chili peppers are outlawed.

Did you just read chili peppers? Yes, you read that right.

Chili in this novel is treated almost like a narcotic substance in our real world, where anyone caught with it is instantly sent to prison. The logic for banning chili is that it can produce a “high” that is deemed unhealthy for the public.

The Finland in this story also has legalized free sex (even sex-for-cash) for the vast majority of the population, as long as the individuals involved belong to the main social classes of “masco” and “eloi”. Mascos are the men who have desirable masculine qualities to pass to the offsprings such as strong and being of sound mind. Eloi are the feminine women who are submissive and willing to serve their masco boyfriends/husbands in anything they do.

The ones outside of the masco-eloi classes (who are called “minus men” and “morlock” respectively) are also allowed to have sex and even marry, as long as they have been sterilized beforehand. The minus men and morlock are deemed unsuitable for the “mating market” because they are seen as not possessing the stereotypical masculine or feminine traits respectively.

Being secretly a morlock who has had no desire to submit herself to any men, Vera was raised by her grandmother as an eloi so that she could receive the better things in life such as high-quality schooling and better treatments from superiors.

Everything was going fine until one day Vera’s sister Mira (who is a genuine eloi) disappeared. Vera and Jare had to do chili-dealing, to save money so they could find out what has happened to Mira (among other things).

The novel goes back and forth from Vera’s perspective to her boyfriend Jare’s, and there are some occasional peeks into Vera’s unsent letters to her sister Mira that shows what a close bond Vera has had to her empty-headed eloi sister who disappeared.

Overall, I really like this kind of dystopian story by the Finnish author Johanna Sinisalo. I had initially expected it the dystopia to be something more like Hunger Games or Divergent, but that is probably because of my overexposure to American novels and films.

There are also numerous references to different types of chilis that the characters try to cross-breed to gain a higher scoville rating (and thus, fetch a higher price when they are sold in the Finnish black market). In the course of the novel, I have read about the milder stuff such as sambal oelek and vindaloo paste, in addition to learning about super-hot chilis such as habanero and Naga Viper.

As the entire novel is told from a first-person perspective, we can also see that Vera also has a synaesthesia gets activated whenever she meets someone new or notices a mood change, among other things. When she uses her “fix” of “chili drug”, she also describes the chili themselves not just in terms of flavour or smell, but also in terms of colour and sound.

If you want to read a dystopian genre that shows a unique kind of dictatorship that is not too similar to the Hollywood-style dystopia you see littering the modern pop culture these days, you would definitely not be disappointed with this novel.

PS: in case I want to reread this novel in the future, some of the most important essence of this book is found on pages 230 to 232 of this English-language edition.

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars.

~~~

This review was entirely taken from my own review of the book at Goodreads.

The Department of War

>> 29 May 2018 – USA

On one of the episodes of Manhattan, there was the Secretary of War coming in to inspect the progress of the Manhattan Project in the New Mexico base.

I have heard of the Department of War before, but I used to think that it was created as a separate department from Department of Defense in order to handle the involvement of the United States in both WW1 and WW2.

Oh dear, I was wrong.

Apparently, up until 1947, the Department of Defense was called the Department of War.

I have always wondered why the United States has been embroiled in a war elsewhere in the world for most of its existence, but now I finally understood.

Semantics matters, people.

Discovering Natalia Lafourcade

>> 28 May 2018 – music

When I was living in Bali in 2003, I remember how popular the song "Asereje" by Las Ketchup was.

The tunes were catchy, almost like a more recent version of Macarena.

Then when I visited Trinidad & Tobago and Suriname in 2014, I heard Latin pop blaring out of minibuses everywhere.

Not really my type of music, though. I have never been a fan of blaring boombox music that are often played in discotheques.

I'm more of a classical/jazz/slow pop-rock music listener.

It was from that time onwards that I chose to forswear any Latin pop from my musical preferences.

Then last month, I discovered Natalia Lafourcade from a famous tech Youtuber's Instagram story. Apparently she is a huge fan of Lafourcade.

The name sounded French, so I checked out one of her albums on Youtube.

And I instantly fell in love with her songs! She is like the Mexican Spanish version of Madeleine Peyroux or Carla Bruni. A lot of modern renditions of Latin American folk music, in addition to her own slow pop original albums.

I don't normally recommend music on my blog, so this is a first.

List of Spanish-language sites

>> 28 October 2017 – lingo, others

For reading:

For grammar studies:

I am playing Pokémon Go using wifi-only connection, in French!

>> 10 July 2016 – USA

Though Pokémon Go was released on 6th of July in the US, Australia, Japan, New Zealand, and several other similarly-awesome countries, I did not install it on my iPod Touch until the 8th of July because I had other matters to tend to.

And little did I realize that I was missing out!

However, now that I have installed it, I discovered that the language of my Pokémon Go corresponds to the language I use on my iPod Touch, which is...French!

Ah yes, I simply chose Team Mystic because blue is the closest color to my favourite colour of all time, aquamarine. Also for the fact that the French call it Équipe Sagesse (Team Wisdom), which gives it a Ravenclaw-like aura.

Do you remember that I do not have a mobile data plan on my cellphone? Though I own a Samsung Galaxy S5 now, I only bought it for its high-resolution camera. This means that in the last two days alone, all the Pokémons I have caught are locatednot too far from a wireless router.

These are the Pokémons I have caught so far:

Those names are the original French names, as giving a nickname to Pokémons is something I had never done (even during the good ol' days of playing Pokémon Red, Gold, etc).

For those of you unfortunate enough to be living in countries without Pokémon Go, you only see 19 Pokémons on my screenshot even though the Pokémon list says 28 out of 250. This is because some of them are Pokémons I have lovingly evolved myself!

This wifi-only connection is a handicap, because this means I will never be able to challenge a gym if it had not had a wifi connection present in its vicinity. So who knows, I may just decide to obtain AT&T's $45/month prepaid plan which also includes mobile data sometime soon...

I may decide to post more updates on my plan to become Pokémon Master once I have reached my goal of obtaining 50 Pokémons, so stay tuned!

Alternative news websites I like to visit

>> 13 September 2015 – news

The following are alternative news websites that I like to visit on a regular basis. I like them because they are NOT among the ones owned by the six major corporations. Therefore, the viewpoints expressed in these websites are more reflective of the freedom of press.

By the way, when I say "alternative", I do not mean that they are like the extreme right-wing or extreme left-wing news channels which focus their news reporting heavily on conspiracy theories and other nutty news. Instead, I focus on those that publish smart and engaging articles on topics that are timely even if they don’t make it to the top of the news cycle.

The alternative news websites I listed above are those that report on real news (and stories of human interest) without having to keep you awake at night with news circulated by nutjobs out there.

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