Expat health insurance in North Korea? You gotta be kidding me.

This is probably the worst advertisement ever. Not only does it copy-paste country names inappropriately to a certain search phrase, it also provides....well, nothing. As of today, it is even illegal for ordinary American citizens to enter the country of North Korea (punishable by prison time without trial). The only Americans allowed to enter the country are foreign emissaries and members of the New York Philharmonic Orchestra (on certain invitations by Kim Jong-il).

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You can die if you want to, be my guest.

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A seemingly vulgar conversation in French

Femme: Aïee!
Homme: Pourquoi, chèrie? Tes bras?
Femme: Non, c'est pas mes bras. C'est ma tête!

For an Indonesian native speaker who does not understand French, the conversation above may sound vulgar.

Translation in English:

Lady: Ouch!
Man: What's wrong, dear? Your arms?
Lady: No, it's not my arms. It's my head!

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Don't you know that you have a fetish?

fe·tish
n. an object of irrational reverence or obsessive devotion
(Merriam Webster)


Yes, you do have a fetish.

I find it amusing that we (and I'm talking about the entire humanity here) share this same fetish. It looks childish to most of us who are grown adults, but we never really grow out of it.

Be forewarned: This picture may awaken the inner child in you. Don't get so agitated, now.

As a matter of fact, the entire humanity loves it. You may be a four-year-old boy from Bangladesh or a 35-year-old bank manager from Sweden, but you still love popping bubble-wraps anyway.

The only difference would be the fact that the bank manager prefers to pop them in secret...when nobody else is watching.

Don't you just love to pop her? Oops.
I mean, her dress.

For further unleashing of your fetish, click here.

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on The hot Russian ass

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Recession

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The best things in life are available free

Uncle, can we go home now? It's gettin' reaaally late...

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Demotivational poster of the day

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They do have a point

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Milli Vanilli

Do you know Milli Vanilli?

If you are born after the 1980s, chances are you don't.

Yet a friend of mine recently told me about how this musical duo achieved its notoriety for lip-syncing on MTV stage...and the tape got stuck.

What's worse, that particular song had won a Grammy previously, and as a result of that unfortunate incident, its award had to be revoked, causing downfall to the duo.

I know it's not funny to laugh at the demise.... But it certainly is to watch the video of how the lip-syncing went awry.

You can check it out on this Youtube link.

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Conglaturations [sic]

AGhostbuster oldies-game capture I took from 11 Points. Pay attention to the L-R confusion.



Another picture I found to be relevantly...irrelevant. Or is it irrelevantly relevant?


But anyway, it's the first picture ever uploaded onto the internet.

And I also happened to chance upon the first ever search engine, which can only generate searches from Polish websites. Ironically, it was in English and was created by a Canadian, who has no relations whatsoever with Poland.

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Now available in black

Found this on a joke shop in Florence Mall. Apparently, it's a postcard.

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Diet recommendations for different blood types

In his book, Eat Right 4 Your Type, naturopath Peter D’Adamo prescribes diet, exercise and lifestyle plans for each of the four blood groups. Based on the theory that all food contains lectins that are compatible or incompatible with each blood type, the diet recommends that certain foods should be included and others avoided in order to minimise negative reactions to lectins.

Blood Type A – The Cultivator

For A Blood types, a suggested diet would be a predominantly vegetarian diet including soy, grains, fruits and vegetables.

However, type As have particularly sensitive digestive systems and should try to maintain a fresh and organic diet.

They should avoid dairy products and red meat.

In addition, Type As should engage in gentle and calming exercises such as golf, yoga and tai chi.

Blood Type B – The Nomad

Those with the B blood type have relatively tolerant digestive systems and can enjoy almost all foods including dairy, meat, eggs and vegetables.

Grains, lentils, nuts, tomatoes and processed foods should, however, be avoided.

It is recommended for Type Bs to take moderate exercise that requires mental balance, such as hiking, swimming, tennis and cycling.

Blood Type AB – The Enigma

Type AB’s dietary and exercise requirements are a hybrid of type A and type B requirements.

Its diet especially recommends seafood.

It is also suggested that tofu, dairy foods such as yoghurt, and green vegetables are beneficial. Type ABs also should eat smaller, more frequent meals.

Those of blood type AB have a long list of foods that should be avoided including chicken, beef and pork as well as smoked or cured meat. Also on the to-avoid list are beans, corn, wheat and seeds, as well as caffeine and alcohol.

Like type As, type ABs are recommended to take calming exercises.

Blood Type O – The Hunter

It is recommended that those with the O blood type eat foods high in protein such as red meat, fish and poultry.

They should also include fruits and vegetables in their diet.

However, they should avoid grains, breads, legumes and beans as well as dairy products, caffeine and alcohol.

The health regime for O types includes vigorous exercises such as aerobics, running and contact sports.

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Devoid of meaning

The following text is originally lifted from http://www.unkno.com/

• Orange, month, and purple are the only words in English that don't have another word that rhymes with it.
• The clown fish has the ability to change its sex. If a breeding female dies, the male fish will change its sex and mate with another male.
• 70% of the poor people in the world are female.
• A chicken once had its head cut off and survived for over eighteen months, headless.
• The number one fear of Americans is public speaking. Number two is death.
• 50% of female polar bears also have a penis.
• When the divorce rate goes up in the United States, toy makers report that the sale of toys also rise.
• The Declaration of Independence was written on hemp (marijuana) paper.
• A female donkey's milk is closest to human milk.
• An average person farts 16 times a day.
• It only takes 7 pounds of pressure to rip your ear off
• Humans and dolphins are the only animals whom have sex for pleasure.
• Annually, the amount of garbage that is dumped in the world's oceans is three times the weight of fish that is caught from the oceans.
• By age 20 we lose 20% of our sense of smell. By age 60 it is 60%
• The most overdue book in the world was borrowed from Sidney Sussex College in Cambridge, England and was returned 288 years later.
• Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors.
• Shakespeare invented the word 'assassination' and 'bump'.
• The brain continues sending electrical wave signals for 37 hours after death
• 45% of Americans don't know that the sun is a star.
• Every year approximately 2,500 left-handed people are killed by using object or machinery designed for right-handed people.
• In ancient Rome, when a man testified in court he would swear on his testicles.

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Women: A chemical analysis

A tongue-in cheek e-mail

Element: Woman
Symbol: Wo
Discoverer: Adam
Atomic mass: Accepted as 53.6 kg but can range from 40kg-200kg
Occurrence: Copious quantities in all urban areas
Physical properties:

• Boils at nothing, freezes with no known reason
• Bitter if incorrectly used
• Found in various states, ranging from virgin metal to common ore

Chemical properties:

• Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances
• May explode without warning
• Most powerful money-reducing agent known to man

Common uses:

• Highly ornamental
• Can be great aid to relaxation

Potential hazards:

• Illegal to possess more than one
• Highly dangerous, even in experienced hands

General advice:

• Avoid contact wherever possible as cures can be expensive!

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Silk and the creatures that create it

The following text is originally lifted from the trivia section of The Jakarta Post dated Saturday, 15 November 2008.

~Compiled from various sources~

• Male silkworm moths have such a keen sense of smell they can detect a sexy female moth 10.5 km away.
• Members of the silkworm moth family have been raised in China since 2697 BC, where the methods are silk production had been a closely guarded secret. Anyone caught removing these insects from China was executed. However, in 55 AD two monks hid some silkworm moths in their canes and smuggled them to Constantinople.
• The careful attention to the rearing of silkworms determines the quantity and quality of the silk. So concerned were the ancient Chinese that any worm out of synchronisation with the rhythm and transformation of the majority of worms would be buried or fed to fish to avoid any variation in the silk produced.
• One silkworm can spin a thread almost a kilometre long.
• It takes about 110 domestic silkworm cocoons to make a man’s tie and 630 cocoons to make one silk blouse.
• More than 25,000 cocoons are needed to make a pound of silk.
• It takes about 4.5 kilograms of mulberry leaves for silkworms to be able to manufacture 0.45 kilograms of cocoons, which can be spun into a silk thread over 160 kilometres long.
• Bombyx mori, a silkworm moth, has been cultivated for so long that it can no longer exist without human care. Because it has been domesticated, it has lost the ability to fly and needs to be handfed.
• Louis Pasteur saved French’s silkworm industry. When the industry in southern France was dealt a staggering blow by a disease that was killing the silkworms, the call for help went out for Pasteur – no one but Pasteur. Pasteur’s solution on locating a tiny parasite infecting silkworms and the mulberry leaves that were fed to them was drastic, but rational: destroy all infested worms and infected food. It was done. It worked. The silk industry was saved.
• It takes about ten pounds of mulberry leaves to enable silkworm caterpillars to manufacture one pound of cocoons – which can be spun into a silk thread more than 100 miles long.

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20 things you might not know about Barack Obama

1. He has two Grammy awards for recording his best-selling books, “Dreams from My Father” and “The Audacity of Hope”
2. His mother and father met in a Russian language class at the University of Hawaii.
3. His father, a goat herder as a child, was a member of the Luo tribe in Kenya.
4. As a child in Indonesia he was introduced to snake meat and roasted grasshopper. His stepfather, Lolo Soetoro, presented him with a pet monkey, “Tata”.
5. While living in Indonesia, his mother would wake him at 4 a.m. for three hours of English lessons before he went to school.
6. At Harvard Law School he applied to appear in a black pride pin-up calendar. He was rejected by an all-female committee.
7. He met his wife, Michelle, while she was his adviser one summer at a corporate law firm in Chicago. She also is a Harvard Law School graduate.
8. On his first date with his wife, they had ice cream at a Baskin-Robbins in Chicago. (One of his jobs as a ateen was scooping ice cream at a Baskin-Robbins.)
9. His favourite movies include Casablanca, The Godfather films, Lawrence of Arabia and One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.
10. During his community organising days, some residents in Chicago dubbed him “baby face” because of his youthful looks.
11. He considers his worst habit to be checking his Blackberry.
12. His prized possession is a photograph of the cliffs of Oahu’s South Shore, where his mother’s ashes are scattered.
13. He is a good – but cautious – poker player who joined other lawmakers in Springfield, Illinois, for weekly games. They dubbed their group “The Committee”
14. His music favourites include Bob Dylan, Sheryl Crow, Yo-Yo Ma, Bruce Springsteen and jazz legends Miles Davis, John Coltrane and Charlie Parker.
15. He carries good luck charms, including a gambler’s lucky chit, a tiny Madonna and child, and a bracelet belonging to a soldier deployed in Iraq.
16. He announced his campaign at the Old State Capitol in Springfield, Illinois, where Abraham Lincoln gave his famous “house divided” speech.
17. His office wall has a framed original programme from the 1963 March on Washington where Martin Luther King Jr. delivered his “I have a dream” speech.
18. He owns a set of red boxing gloves autographed by Muhammad Ali.
19. He keeps on his desk a carving of a wooden hand holding an egg, a Kenyan symbol of the fragility of life.
20. He doesn’t like to shop.

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An eldritch switch

The following text is originally lifted from http://www.unkno.com/

• The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid.
• The word “lethologica” describes the state of not being able to remember the word you want.
• An adult giraffe's kick is so powerful that it can decapitate a lion.
• Turtles can breathe through their butts
• Charlie Chaplin once won third prize in a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest.
• A snail can sleep for three years.
• Every year about 7 people gets killed by sharp objects in the dishwasher.
• You lose 60 hairs a day.
• You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.
• Pancreaticoduodenostomy is the longest word with all six vowels in order.
• A human can not kiss his elbow with his lips. Also 96 % of people who reads this information are compelled to try this.
• More than $1 billion is spent each year on neck ties in the United States.
• The average length of an orgasm for a pig is 30 minutes.
• The largest number of children born to one woman, who was a Russian peasant is 69.
• TYPEWRITER, is the longest word that can be made using the letters on only one row of the keyboard.
• Chocolate can kill dogs; it directly affects their heart and nervous system.
• The Ramses brand condom is named after the great pharoh Ramses II who fathered over 160 children.
• Giraffes and rats can last longer without water than camels.
• Charles Darwin and Abraham Lincoln are born on the very same day of 12 Feb 1809.
• When Titanic sank it had 3000 tonnes of ham onboard.
• More people are killed by falling coconuts every year than sharks attack.
• Thomas Edison created the English word, 'Hello'.
• If decapitated, a chicken will die from blood loss before heart failure.
• Pilot and co-pilot of a flight never have lunch (or dinner) at the same place. In case of one of the pilot feeling sick, the co-pilot can replace him.
• You are more likely to get strike by lightning than win the state lottery
• "Bookkeeper" is the only word in the english language that has 3 letters that consecutively repeat.
• Forty percent of Americans iron their clothes while wearing their underwear or being completely naked.
• There are more pigs than humans in Denmark.
• The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable.
• An ostrich's eye is larger than it's brain.
• One thousand words make up 90% of common speech.
• The only word in English with three consecutive S's is "godessship".

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Predictions that were way off

The following text is originally lifted from the trivia section of The Jakarta Post dated Sunday, 13 April 2008.

~Compiled from various sources~

• "Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?" - H.M. Warner, Warner Brothers, 1927.
• "We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out." - Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962.
• "The Beatles? They're on the wane." - The Duke of Edinburgh in Canada, 1965. They went on to produce a string of No.1 hits.
• "That rainbow song's no good. Take it out" - MGM memo after first showing of The Wizard of Oz.
• "You'd better learn secretarial skills or else get married." - Modelling agency, rejecting Marilyn Monroe in 1944.
• "You ought to go back to driving a truck." - Concert manager, firing Elvis Presley in 1954.
• "Forget it. No Civil War picture ever made a nickel." - MGM executive, advising against investing in Gone With The Wind.
• "I'm just glad it'll be Clark Gable who's falling on his face and not Gary Cooper." - Gary Cooper, after turning down the lead role in Gone With The Wind.
• "Can't act. Can't sing. Slightly bald. Can dance a little." - A film company's verdict on Fred Astaire's 1928 screen test.
• "I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to." - Elvis Presley.
• It is difficult to say what is impossible, for the dream of yesterday is the hope of today and the reality of tomorrow. - Robert Goddard (1882-1945)
• Jerome Rodale, who founded The Rodale Press publishing house, was taping an interview on the Dick Cavett Talk Show. He was bragging about how he was so healthy he'd live to be 100 when he slumped over, dead from a heart attack. The show was never broadcast to the public.
• Jim Fixx, who wrote The Complete Book of Running and lectured about how running and a healthy diet would promote longevity, dropped dead from a heart attack while running. An autopsy revealed he had three massively blocked heart arteries.
• The person who wrote the famous song Keep the Home Fires Burning burned to death when their home caught fire.
• In 1970, television newsman Chris Hubbock announced, "In keeping with Channel 40's policy of always bringing you the latest in gore and guts in living colour, you're about to see another first - an attempted suicide". Then she pulled a gun and fatally shot herself in the head.
• The French playwright Molière became sick and died while playing the role of a hypochondriac in his play The Imaginary Invalid.
• A few months before he was killed in a car accident, James Dean made a driver's safety TV ad in which he said, "Drive safely; the life you save may be mine."
• Playwright Tennessee Williams died after choking on the cap of eye drops. He was a habitual pill-taker and drunk, and in an impaired state he put the cap in his mouth, mistaking it for another pill, and choked to death.
• Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry is the first person to have their ashes put aboard a rocket and "buried" in space.
• Hugh Hefner worked as circulation manager at the Children's Activities magazine while he was raising money to launch Playboy.
• Buster Keaton was billed as "The Human Mop" when he joined his family's comic acrobatic vaudeville act at age 3.
• Cheryl Tiegs went to New York to launch her modeling career in 1966, after winning the Miss Rocket Tower beauty contest in California.
• Elvis and Charles Schultz were the no.1 and no.2 money earning dead people in 2002. Elvis made US$31 million, Schultz made US$9 million

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Quotable utterings of the famous (Part 5)

The following text is originally lifted from the trivia section of The Jakarta Post.

~Compiled from various sources~

• "Pray, v. : To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy" - Ambrose Bierce.
• "Every normal men must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats" - Henry Louis Mencken.
• "Now, my good man, this is no time for making enemies" - Voltaire, on his deathbed in response to a priest asking that he renounce Satan.
• "Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run" - Rudyard Kipling.
• "He would make a lovely corpse" - Charles Dickens.
• "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial" - Irvin S. Cobb.
• "I worship the quick sand he walks in" - Art Buchwald.
• "Wagner's music is better than it sounds" - Mark Twain.
• "A poem is never finished, only abandoned" - Paul Valery.
• "We are not retreating - we are advancing in another direction" - General Douglas MacArthur.
• "If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1,024 chickens?" - Seymour Cray, father of super-computing.
• "Interesting - I use a Mac to help me design the next Cray" - Seymour Cray when he was told that Apple Inc. had recently bought a Cray supercomputer to help them design the next Mac.
• "Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis" - Pierre Laplace, to Napoleon on why his works on celestial mechanics make no mention of God.
• "I choose a block a marble and chop off whatever I don't need" - Francois-Auguste Rodin, when asked how he managed to make his remarkable statues.
• "The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them" - Mark Twain.
• "The truth is more important than the facts" - Frank Lloyd Wright.
• "Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing" - Wernher Von Braun.
• "There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it" - Oscar Wilde.
• "There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle" - Albert Einstein.

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A miscellany of successful lives

The following text is originally lifted from the trivia section of The Jakarta Post.

~Compiled from various sources~

• Attila the Hun was suspected of suffocating from a bloody nose after passing out from alcohol at his bachelor party.
• The biography of Thomas Crapper, the British sanitary engineer who invented the modern flush toilet in 1878, was called Flushed with Pride: The Story of Thomas Crapper.
• After being killed during the celebrated Battle of Trafalgar, British Admiral Horatio Nelson was put into a large barrel of brandy to preserve his body during the voyage back to England. When the ship arrived back home Lord Nelson was removed from the barrel and the crew celebrated his achievements by drinking the remaining brandy.
• Albert Einstein was offered the presidency of Israel in 1952, but he declined.
• Albert Einstein said of nuclear bombs: "If I had known, I would have become a watchmaker."
• Albert Einstein's last words were not understood because his nurse did not speak German.
• After the death of Albert Einstein, his brain was removed by a pathologist and put in jar for future study.
• Alexander Graham Bell, the inventor of the telephone, never telephoned his wife or mother because they were both deaf.
• Alexander Graham Bell refused to have a phone in his study - the ringing drove him nuts.
• Alexandre Gustave Eiffel, the man who designed the Eiffel Tower, also designed the inner structure of the Statue of Liberty.
• Astronaut Buzz Aldrin's mother's maiden name was "Moon". Buzz was the second man to step onto the Moon in 1969.
• Sigmund Freud had a morbid fear of ferns.
• Napoleon constructed his battle plans in a sandbox.
• Ivan the Terrible began earning his bad reputation in 1540 as a 10-year-old by throwing puppies off the Kremlin walls.
• Karl Marx's socialist writer's last words were: "Last words are for fools who haven't said enough."
• Four million prisoners died mining for gold in Stalin's Kolyma forced labour camp.
• Italian mathematician Gerolamo Cardano published the laws of chance governing card and dice games. But he became most famous for his accurate horoscope predictions. He even predicted his own death in 1576 - even down to the exact hour. When the time came he was still healthy, so he killed himself rather than being proved wrong.

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