Iridescent scars

After all this time I’ve been trying to conceal my new IM3 phone number, she finally found it out. My bad, I should’ve used my old XL instead when trying to make that contact yesterday.

An hour or so after I called in, my phone received a miscall from a private number.

I’ve announced my new number only to a limited number of close friends and relatives; hence I know which amongst them could have made that private call. How silly, attempting to use a private number to fool me, as if I don’t know her well!

Geez. What does she want with me actually?!!

Despite all my past efforts to pretend that I’m going out with someone else (as to test her jealousy), I know deep down in my heart that she has known the truth: that I actually liked her.

You know, it’s always amazing to see how much girls could know if a guy falls for her. Sometimes they feign ignorance, and play the “Jual Mahal” card on the guy.

But that’s not really a game that I enjoy playing.

Rather than accepting that kind of “Jual Mahal” pride from her, I’d rather cut contact from her myself. I just couldn’t stand being played around, with treatment of so much “Oh, he likes me, therefore I want him to chase me” attitude like that.

I know I should’ve blamed myself more for focusing too much on my own envy, but it’s really her who shoulders more of the fault.

Mind you, I’ve counted:

For every four SMSes I sent to her during the last three months, I only received one reply.

There are even certain days when I waited for her SMS reply till the night to no avail.

Some may reason that she might’ve run out of her phone balance, but of course I knew it better. She has always plenty of balance on her handphone that I always see her online on her eBuddy every time I log in to my Yahoo and MSN.

I recently confided to my friend about all this, and he told me that she might not have seen me as that important a guy to her. His reasoning may sound ludicrous, but I find it quite plausible.

What does she see me as?

A brother? If she sees me as such, she should’ve replied my SMSes more often. Moreover, it is her who often needed my help.

A mere friend? This sounds quite possible.

Or… a laughing stock? Sounds quite mean, but yes it’s probable, considering how rarely she replies my SMSes.

Mind you, oftentimes it’s her who sent me the first SMS to consult on school subjects or blog or any other trivial stuff, but whenever I replied and asked for confirmation, she rarely replied me back or thanked me. What an ingrate!

Eric and Undine was correct after all, I deserve a better girl than her. It’s been a bloody waste of energy and time to be obsessed with her after all.

And during this exam period, I know that she would be all messed up without my help on her school subjects, but why should I care?

She has gotten a new prince at her school, so she should’ve asked him instead. LOL.

Phew, I feel a sigh of relief to finally vent it all out here. On other personal topics, I would’ve normally written on my Indonesian blog, but for now I feel it much safer to rant here because I know she’s too lazy to read English.

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You're not adopted? Are you sure?

Last week Mom told me that Aunt Melissa (my Mom’s far cousin, not her real name) was actually adopted.

The astonishing thing is that Aunt Melissa knows nothing about her adoption even till this day, as she was taken in to the family since she was a toddler.

Indeed, Aunt Mel had suspected several times of her being adopted due to the differences in skin colour and blood type from her parents. But both her parents are so apt in making fabrications like,

“Oh you know Mel, our blood type is different from yours because you’ve inherited your blood type A from your Grandpa, who is also an A-type!”

that they could always avoid telling the truth.

Wow, I said. I was astonished to find that out, let alone the fact that Aunt Mel has known nothing about her adoption during her lifetime.

Why?

I honestly wonder why her parents have feared telling her the truth all this time.

The likeliest possibility is of course, they fear that Aunt Mel wouldn’t feel as much loved as before.

But still, hiding the truth from the person concerned –especially when almost everybody else knows about the truth itself— would be quite much like “playing games” on her/him.

So…. Do any of you out there think that you don’t very much look like your parents? Check your DNA, you might have been adopted.

Because cases like Aunt Mel's do exist.

As for me, I had no worries because I do look like my Mom and I have the same blood type with my Dad.

But even if I were adopted myself, I would no doubt still love my parents and accept their love in retrospect, without giving a bloody hell whether I was adopted or not.

Let me digress.

Starting from today onwards, I'll put up funny pics I find elsewhere on the net on the bottom of my entries. Hope they spice up your enjoyment in reading my blog!

What you get for not using the right printer

Feeling lost? Then read this sign

Oh, holy McDonald...



This is how the Playboy magazine looks like in Mars.
Thank God there is no Federal Porn of Investigation in other planets!

This is how the Singaporean fugitive Mas Selamat Kastari managed to escape

Italic fonts, anyone?

Early prototype of Nokia N99, created 99 BC

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Random rambling of the day

PLAY STATION 3

Some of you my loyal readers may be wondering why are there two categories of Blog listing on the right-hand side of this page, the one called pals n’acquaintances and another called blogroll.

Well, the blogs listed on my blogroll are basically those that I like because of their quality of writings alone, though I may not be personally acquainted with the blog’s owner.

On the other hand, you should be glad if your blog is listed under the pals n’acquaintances list, because that means you’re in some way special to me! And mind you, not everyone on that pals n’acquaintances list I have met in person.

If you want to know me better, you could add me on my Facebook which is available above my shoutbox from today onwards.

Now everyone who has met me in person knows what an introverted person I originally am, so the only chances you’ll ever discover about my secrets are thru my writings alone. Here are a couple of them for starters…

Eating banana

I could never eat banana without peanut butter spread. It’s a habit carried since my childhood, and this is a feature presumably inherited from my Dad.

Forget names easily

It’s an annoying kind of “memory loss” thingy that I’ve had since little: I forget people’s names easily, especially those whom I haven’t met/interacted with for more than two years. I would either remember the name only, or the person’s face only, but I rarely remember both.

It’s a blessing that the internet has finally provided us all with social-networking sites like Friendster and Facebook, that I could have a list of names of my buddies and their corresponding pictures.

Reading than lecture

If I want to study a topic better, I always opt for reading the materials myself than listening to lecture, no matter how interesting the subject may be. Listening to lectures bore me very much, which is how I got my reputation as the “Classroom sleeper”, because either the classroom or bedroom made no difference to me: Both of them provide a cozy atmosphere for me to sleep!

Swimming

It’s no longer a secret that I’m an avid swimmer. However, I could never swim without goggles. So in such unfortunate cases when my goggle lace snaps, I always prefer to stop swimming until I buy a new one. The thought of having the water pressuring on my eyelids bother me very much.

Reading while lying down on the couch

I always concentrate better if I read books/magazines while lying down on the couch (instead of sitting on the chair). Another bad habit of mine which scientists claim could make us wear glasses, but I’ve proven them wrong. Because I haven’t the need for any yet!

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When the leopard lets go off his prey…

Lately I feel like a leopard.

A leopard who has waited in silence, camouflaged amongst the reeds, in order to prepare myself to run after the best-looking deer I’ve seen that day.

Yet from the other side of the savannah, I see a shaggy-looking hyena cub also making his way towards my prey.

My stomach growled with all this funny feeling inside… An inexperienced weakling like that hyena cub wants to compete with me in chasing the deer?

I could easily wreck that cub with my paws and still be able to chase the deer if I wanted to, but I didn’t. Instead, I let go of my prey… the prey I’ve been longing for, simply because I want to give that little cub a chance of his lifetime.

The deer herself has realized the presence of that all-revealing little hyena, but she seems does not care the least bit about being hunted by a cub.

It doesn’t matter; I could always hunt for more fleshy deers in other savannahs anyway!

Moral of the story: The joy of remaining a single (termed Jomblo in Indonesian) is that you could always look for other choices elsewhere!

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What does heaven look like?

A little while ago I asked a fellow Christian friend (whose Dad is a Pastor) about what heaven really looks like. You know, I’m never very knowledgeable about the bible myself, hence I asked her that question.

She answered that it should be very clear to us Christians that in heaven, all human souls will join the chorus of angels in singing praises to the Lord.

Uhm… OK.

That may sound favourable to some Christians, but I beg to differ because singing in a chorus everyday would be quite boring a vision to me.

The concept of meeting anybody else I know in heaven –my family and my friends— is still quite vague to me, because not everybody could make it to heaven anyway! Haha, just kidding.

In my opinion, heaven should look 1000 times better than the best place on earth we want to be…

So in my mind, I pictured heaven to be a tropical beach with a seaside cottage where the sand is white and the sea water is translucent blue. There, I would enjoy myself swimming every day and the weather's eternally sunny. Just outside my seaside cottage there is a an elegant black grand piano that I could play to the melodies of an accompanying orchestra by the angels… Phew, what a vision!

That’s just a fragment of my liberal-infused imagination though –just ignore it— it has nothing to do with religious doctrines whatsoever.

In a today's divagation, I find this cat snapshot below to be strikingly familliar.... Perhaps too similar to a logo of a browser you're currently using? If nope, then download it here.

Check it out, they have several sorts of cute banners you may like... Feel free to add those banners to your site!

If you're an all-macho guy who hates having those cute stuff above, they also have a couple of other plain banners like this one below in several languages like Chinese, French, Farsi, Japanese, Italian, etc.

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