4 July 2009

Women: A chemical analysis

A tongue-in cheek e-mail

Element: Woman
Symbol: Wo
Discoverer: Adam
Atomic mass: Accepted as 53.6 kg but can range from 40kg-200kg
Occurrence: Copious quantities in all urban areas
Physical properties:

  • Boils at nothing, freezes with no known reason
  • Bitter if incorrectly used
  • Found in various states, ranging from virgin metal to common ore

Chemical properties:

  • Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances
  • May explode without warning
  • Most powerful money-reducing agent known to man

Common uses:

  • Highly ornamental
  • Can be great aid to relaxation

Potential hazards:

  • Illegal to possess more than one
  • Highly dangerous, even in experienced hands

General advice:

  • Avoid contact wherever possible as cures can be expensive!

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